With or Without Nutz
by 4RAINYNITE
Summary: The Flower Scouts sell cookies, the Wood Scouts sell popcorn, what does Camp Campbell sell? Join the gang as they go door-to-door selling candy bars on this humorous misadventure. Rated T for language and only language. Completed!
1. Chapter 1

Hello, everyone in the Camp Camp fandom this is my first Camp Camp fic, so I hope you enjoy. For the record this takes place after the 'Cookin Cookies' episode but before 'Parent's Day'.

* * *

With or Without Nutz

Monday Morning

The Sun rose in the distant over Lake Lilac creating a beautiful sight of reds, purples, and blues as clouds began to form. Dew drops appeared on the grass and flora as if they were masterfully painted by an famous artist, the lake was still, and everything was quie-

*Camp Bugle Horn Sounds*

The campers and co-counselor were awoken by the sound of the morning horn; moaning, groaning, and a few cursing.

"For fuck's sake, David." Max hissed as he laid back down in his cot Mr. Honeynuts by his side and raised his pillow above him and slammed the pillow into his face.

A scowl formed on Gwen's face; she was having a wonderful dream that she was a famous crime-supernatural-horror-mystery-fantasy-romance novelist, with so much money she couldn't spend it in just one life time, not living with her parents, and a list of secret admirers that were hot men and women who wanted to marry her. It was going great; until that dumb horn woke her up!

"Good morning, Gwen!" David greeted his CBFL like he did every morning.

Gwen rose up from her sheets to glare at David, she had to admit it was cute how David always seemed like a happy puppy, but not right now.

"What's so fucking great about today? It's just gonna be like every other horrid day." Gwen groaned foreshadowing today's events.

" First language, and second because today's the day we do our annual sale!" David said with excitement as he did a twirl.

That's when Gwen's eyes shot wide open and a wave of fear, anxiety, dread washed over her.

"Oh, no!" Gwen gasped.

"Oh, yes!" David said. "I have to sign for the delivery so I'll see you in the Mess Hall."

David cheerfully gave Gwen the Camp Campbell salute and practically skipped out of the counselors cabin.

'One of these days I'm gonna tell him what that salute stands for.' Gwen thought as she raised her pillow above her and slammed the pillow into her face.

* * *

The Mess Hall

The Camp Campbell campers were in the Mess Hall eating their breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and eggs and making bets who would win the tug-o-war of bacon between Nikki and Muack the platypus.

"There is no way this is sanitary!" Neil said in a disgusted voice as he watch Nikki and Muack tug on the stretchy slice of bacon with their teeth.

"Shut up, Neil!" Max spatted. "Maybe, I should make a side bet if they do the Lady and the Tramp kiss."

The door slammed open to reveal David, Gwen, and about a hundred boxes behind them. This caused the campers pause in alarm as Muack slipped from releasing the bacon.

"Good morning, Campers!" David greeted the campers. "Today's a special day."

"Christmas!" Nikki exclaimed with stars in her eyes.

"No, Nikki not Christmas." David answered trying not to damper the girl's spirits.

Sadly, it failed as Nikki pouted.

" We're finally getting a new ramp?" Ered questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh, no." David answered.

" Hairspray the musical is back on Broadway?" Preston shouted at the top of his lungs.

"No." David answered.

"Christmas!" Space Kid jumped with glee.

"Jesus Christ!" Gwen shouted. " It's chocolate bar sales day we put up a fuckin' flyer over there!"

The campers followed where Gwen's finger pointed to the corner of the room where a poorly made flyer with a chocolate bar on it.

"Make more flyers next time that get our attention." Max said sarcastically as he drank his coffee.

"Why you little shit." Gwen rolled up her sleeves as she was about to grab Max.

"Anyway-" David cut into Gwen and Max. " It's a Camp Campbell tradition to sell chocolate bars to the good people of Sleepy Peak to help maintain and bring in more campers for the camp."

"Hold on, how can we sell candy bars?" Neil interrupted. "We almost had to brush our teeth with the tooth brushes we cleaned the Mess Hall with if Gwen didn't find those 'in-case-I-have-to-go-into-hiding-in-Canada-for-10-years-box.' in the attic."

"Don't remind me." Gwen shuddered at the memory as hugged herself.

"It's true, we had to stop selling candy bars eight years ago because the factory we used to go to shut down. What was the name again- Lax-O's I believe?" David said trying to remember.

"Lax-O's? As in chocolate laxatives?" Max laughed as he fell out of his seat. "This place sucks at names! HAHAHAHA!"

"Max, Language!" David scolded the ten year old. " Anyway, Mr. Campbell found out we can legally sale the candy bars we won at the Camporre, but don't worry campers there'll still be some chocolate bars left over for us since we won the year supplies of s'mores."

'Oh, now he wants to be legal.' Gwen thought as she rolled her eyes.

"The chocolate bars we'll be selling are: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds." David listed as he held the chocolate bars in his arms.

Nikki raised her hand in the air waving it like a student trying to gain their teacher's attention.

"Yes, Nikki?" David smiled at the adventures girl.

"I hate to break it to you David, but this is Flower Scout cookie sale season." Nikki said in a matter-of-fact voice. " We don't have a snow flakes chance in heck. Trust me, I was there last year we **owned** this town."

"Plus, I gave the Wood Scouts a head start on their popcorn sales to save Mr. Honeynuts." Gwen added with a smirk in Max's direction.

Max's face now had a light pink tint to it as the campers started to snicker. Max glared at them shutting them up, and jumped on the table red face pointing at Gwen.

"You did that on purpose you trash-reading-slacker!" Max yelled at the woman.

"Next time be careful who you blackmail you shit-son-of-satan!" Gwen retorted.

David cut into between the two before they could claw at each other.

"Guys, language and violence!" David interjected. " Now come on everybody, I'll get the bus started."

David and the campers left the Mess Hall leaving Max, Gwen, and Muack behind.

"How badly do you think this is gonna go?" Max asked looking up at Gwen in a dry voice.

"Kid, I predicted how this day was gonna go before I woke up." Gwen answered in tired voice.

"Muack!" Muack quacked.

* * *

So, that's chapter one! I got the idea for this fanfic after thinking if the Flower Scouts sell cookies, and the Wood Scouts sell popcorn, Camp Campbell would most likely sell chocolate bars since that's another fundraiser food item. Please, tell if you guys enjoyed it and what you think will happen next. Bye!


	2. Door to door

Sorry it took long to update, but last Wednesday I graduated and got my Associates degree and now I'm school searching for my Bachelor's degree (WOW, now I really feel like Gwen now). Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

Door-to-Door (Maybe)

Everyone was on the bus heading for the small (barren) town of Sleepy Peak. While the city part was full of people and exciting the town was just the opposite. The population was so small it might as well be a ghost town, most of the stores were boarded up and crumbling. How the town had Wi-Fi and a few other modern touches was as huge mystery like which came first Adam and Eve or the dinosaurs?

David was in the drivers seat keeping his eyes on the road while Gwen sat behind him reading one of her adult werewolf novels titled 'She Who Runs with Wolves Howls like One!', while Muack slept next to her. Max, Nikki, and Neil sat across from Gwen; Max had a huge scowl on his face, Neil had his face in a brown bag barfing up breakfast, and Nikki was bouncing in her seat looking out the window. Harrison and Nerris were playing cards with each other, while Preston was taking a 'thespian nap' wearing a sleep mask that read 'Drama in Production'. Space Kid was playing with his toy rocket as Ered was listening to her music on her headphones. Dolph and Nurf were doing whatever the heck they do. The boxes full of chocolate bars sat in the back rocking back and forth as the bus moved.

"Here we are gang Sleep Peaks Police Station!" David announced as they drove in front of the station.

Just like the town the police station had seen better days (maybe) it wasn't as bad as the other buildings in the area, but one could tell it could crumble any second.

"I don't know David, don't we have history with these guys?" Gwen question not looking up from the book.

"Sure we had some problems in the past, but they have come up to the camp in a month." David explained.

"Because Campbell's in Russia and Max hasn't tried to escape in a month." Gwen said bluntly.

"Besides it's for a good cause; I'm sure they can understand that and look pass our accidents." David countered.

"By the way did you pay for that bus crash?" Gwen smirked still not looking up from her book.

This caught Max's attention as he watched David squirm a little.

" **EVERYONE OFF THE BUS!** "

* * *

Inside the Station

"And that concludes why you should by Camp Campbells candy bars." David finished his speech.

The police station burst out in laughter confusing the Camp Campbell group.

"You guys didn't get the news did ya?" Sal laughed.

"What news?" David questioned.

This caused the whole police station to go silence. Everyone started to whisper to each 'how do they not know it's been on the news?' while others were left dumbfounded.

"Wow, you guys really didn't get the news!" Sal sounded surprised.

"What news?" Gwen asked in an irritated tone.

"Wow, if the smart one doesn't know then they really didn't get the news." A female officer said.

"What fucking news ?!" Max shouted raising his hands in the air.

"Max, language!" David exclaimed.

"Don't worry kids this will explain everything." Sal said as another officer rolled in a TV and turned it on.

* * *

 **TV**

"Hello, this is the Sleepy Peak channel 3 news." A female report greeted with her mic in hand.

"Last week was the start of Flower Scout cookie sales nation wide with beloved favorites such as: skinny minties, sugar shamrocks, chocolate chip cherry blossoms, and many more. But, sadly this years sales were put on halt after finding out the troop 789's cookies were laced with crystal meth. "

The CC group couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"It is believe that garden mother Penelope Priss was responsible after finding empty pill containers in her purse and cabin." A male reporter said as a very unflattering picture of the Sleepy Peak police officers dragging her away.

* * *

Video Clip

"IT WASN'T ME!" Ms. Priss shouted out as the officers dragged her to the police car in handcuffs. "It was those little brats, I was nursing a wine headache!"

Priss used the heel of her high heels to stab an officer in the foot, then headbutted him. She also headbutted the other officer and made her escape.

"Officers down, I repeat officers down!" An injured officer shouted into the walkie-talkie.

As ran she was dogpiled by many officers.

End Clip

* * *

When the video ended Nikki, Max, and Gwen were laughing there butts off.

"Wait there's more." David said still watching the news.

* * *

 **Still TV**

"Due to this discovery many other troops were checked and only troop 789 were the only ones laced. And to keep the relationship with the public good troop 789 will return every penny from this year's sales. So tell me how does this make you feel?" The female reporter asked shoving her mic in Sasha, Erin, and Tabii's (now with one I) faces.

" The sales were a huge waste of time I could've gotten a manipedi." Tabii answered rudely.

"Yeah, how were we suppose to know the cane sugar was actually drugs?" Erin said dryly.

"This never would've happened if the Wood Scoots didn't sell all their shitty popcorn before us, Ms. Priss didn't lie to us about crystal meth, and the stupid grand prize wasn't a trip to Cabo,Mexico!" Sasha barked scaring the reporter.

"What's wrong with Cabo, I heard they have great beaches?" The female reporter questioned confused.

Before Sasha could answer the video paused and had that TV rainbow off-the-air effect.

"Yeah, we couldn't show the rest of that for 'reasons'." The female reporter said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"And for that troop 789 is now in sensitivity training with their new garden mother!" The male reporter said with a fake smile.

* * *

New Clip

"What you ladies done was not just disrespectful for all Flower Scoots everywhere, now we're in a legal lawsuit with the Flower Scouts in Mexcico, and for messing with the Flower Scouts cookie recipe! For that drop and give me 20 pushups!" The new garden mother roared.

The new garden mother was older than Gwen and David, but wasn't as old as Ms. Priss , and with a similiar physique as Bonquisha . She wore the traditional garden mother's uniform with cheetah print leggings and long sleeve shirt underneath.

Sasha, Erin, Tabii, and the other Flower Scouts were doing a poor job on their pushups.

"Seriously? It wasn't bad enough you guys took the ice cream and doughnut machine?" Sasha whined in a exhausted voice.

"Don't forget they took out the air conditioners. My non-sweat orange blossom scented deodorant isn't working anymore! " Erin said already sweating.

"Isn't this punishment enough?" Tabii cried.

"You mean I have to go to town just for a bowl of choco-minty ice cream and an apple fritter? Give me 30 now!" The garden mother's voice boomed.

End Clip

* * *

The male reporter was now in a women's county jail with behind bars.

"The whole drug-cookie sells are still under investigation, but I got news that the troop 788 won this years cookie sales!" The male reporter announced.

"Troop 788?" Ms. Priss snapped. "That's Susie Mendez's troop!"

Priss wrapped her hands around the male reporter's neck and started to strangle him. "I refuse to let that Bitch make me look bad in front of the other garden mothers!" Ms. Priss bellowed still strangling the reporter.

(Too late, honey.)

On cue officers dogpiled on her again.

"Despite all the chaos, this was a successful year for the Wood Scouts. For the first time in five years they were able to make more than $50 and sell all their popcorn, the winners being troop 818." The female reporter announced. "Tell us; what was your secret this year?"

The view was now on Pikeman, Snake, Petrol, and Jermy (facing the wrong way).

"Negative!" Pikeman shouted into the mic. "Wood Scoots' rule #34 never give away trade secrets!"

"But we did have a little _lady luck._ " Pikeman said as he wiggled his eyebrows at the camera. "I knew you had a thing for me baby."

Gwen made gagging noise, covered her mouth and ran into the ladies' bathroom.

"I don't think she likes you, in fact I don't think any girl likes you." Jermy interrupted.

"SHUT UP JERMY!" Pikeman bellowed.

"And that's the news." The female reporter said ending the news as the TV flashed off.

The last Clip (A.K.A THE END!)

* * *

"Oh." David squirmed.

"Yep, everyone's either filled up on popcorn or still high on cookies." Sal acknowledged.

"Does this mean we can't sell the chocolate bars?" Nikki asked with her puppy dog eyes as she tugging at David's pant leg .

"Of course not, someone in town must want our chocolates." David said trying to be positive.

"Darn!" Nikki child cursed as she crossed her arms. "I wanted to eat them all."

Gwen came out of the bathroom wiping her chin of any remaining saliva.

"Gwen, what do we do?" David fretted. " Everyone is bought the Wood Scout's popcorn or on a 'sugar rush' from the Flower Scout's cookies."

"I just saw the whole thing with you David, what are ya a parrot?" Gwen groaned.

"Hey didn't you guys pay for that bus crash?" Sal asked.

"Everyone back on the bus!" David shouted.

* * *

Back on the bus

"I still can't believe it. How are we going to sell our chocolates now?" David questioned Gwen.

"The bigger question is how did we go a whole week without knowing any of this?" Gwen countered question.

The two then pondered making a 'hm' sound.

* * *

Flashback Montage

 **Monday**

A newspaper boy riding his bicycle threw a newspaper in front of the Camp Campbell entrance. On the cover of the newspaper in bold letters read; **WOODSCOUTS BEAT POPCORN SELLING RECORD AND START OF FLOWER SCOUT COOKIE SALES.** Also, on the paper was smaller ads like: Lester's 'Lectronics sale on floppy disks, Lil' Country Style new 1800's summer gowns, and a wanted ad that read: Mad platypus on the loss!Wanted dead or alive! (Muack what did you do this time?).

Nikki came running to the entrance on all fours and grabbed the newspaper with her teeth. She ran to the counsleor's cabin as drool ran down her mouth.

"Here's the paper, David!" Nikki greeted David as he was drinking his coffee.

"Why thank you Nik-"

"Buh, buh, buh-" Nikki stopped David from reaching the newspaper. "My fee first."

David gave a sigh, reached into his pocket and pulled out a cup of pudding.

"Here you go little lady." David happily gave Nikki her pudding in exchange for the paper.

"Thanks, David." Nikki happily skipped away while chugging down her pudding.

"Now to read today's pap-AHH!" David exclaimed in disgust as his hands were covered in drool and the newspaper fell apart and became illegible to read from being wet.

"I wonder if Gwen will let me borrow her magazines when I go to the bathroom?" David said to himself.

 **Tuesday**

The morning's newspaper read; **Flower Scout's new cookie recipe is the best! Man who swore off drugs 8 years ago test came back positive.**

Harrison was at his magic camp station rolling the newspaper like a cone and poured milk into, a few seconds later milk came running out of Harrison's hat and into his eyes.

"AAHHH!" Harrison let out a scream of pain as he ran off the stage, leaving the newspaper to soil.

 **Wednesday**

Gwen was in the Counselor's Cabin sitting on her favorite sofa channel surfing for something on TV.

Channel 3:

"Today's topic is on what is causing this drug epidemic on our dear town of Sleepy Peak? "

Gwen gave a yawn and changed the channel.

Channel 4:

"Buy our Flower Scout cookies, so we can win a trip to Cabo!"

Gwen scowled at the ad and changed the channel. The last thing Gwen needed was a reminder that their camp had superior food, WIFI, and plumbing then Camp Campbell, plus their voices annoyed her.

Channel 5:

"We now return to: Say Yes to the 4 Bachelorette Parties!"

"OH, I love this show!" Gwen squealed as she hugged her pillow.

"Gwen!" David called from inside the bathroom. "What does this word on pg.24 of your magazine mean?"

"For Heaven's sake, David! You are twenty four years old just yoogle it or urban thesaurus it! " Gwen shouted.

 **Thursday**

Max was using David's phone to watch cat videos waiting for one to load. As it was loading an ad popped up.

"Stupid ads preventing me from watching cat videos!" Max hissed.

"Sleepy Peak police force going under cover to catch drug-dealers." The announcer said as the skip button appeaed on the screen.

"Thank God for the skip button." Max said to himself.

"MAX!" David said surprising the young boy. "How many times do I have to tell you - *GASP NOISE OF MANLYNESS, BUT REALLY ISN'T MANLY AT ALL* IS THAT TUTU KITTY?"

"Yes." Max answered bluntly.

"Which episode is this?" David asked.

"It's brand new, so shut up so I can watch." Max said still holding the phone.

And the two watched all 394 video episodes until it was time for dinner. (#dadvidbondingtime).

 **Friday**

Gwen was at the General Store picking up food for the camp with the money Campbell sent the camp. Gwen figured that despite how cheap and sneaky her boss was, if a camper wrote a letter about starving and not being feed the camp would shut down quicker (but he also sent them a coupon book that would last til' 2033). The only reason Gwen volunteered to go was because: 1. the truck that would ship the camp's food supply broke down and would take a week to fix and supply the camp with food .2. Quarter Master's cooking skills were already _questionable_ and if he returned from the store he'd probably bring back something weird like frogs, bears, or that strange octopus creature with teeth from the mansion.3. She wanted to get away from the camp even if it was for an hour just to get some peace (and to get the new issue of Men is Spandex).

"Okay, with the coupons your total comes out to be $39.99." The cashier rung up the total.

Gwen paid the lady with a $100 bill (a real one not the counterfeit ones that he printed in the attic with his face on it) and left with mainly camp food (to please David), frozen dinners, and snacks.

"Did you hear about the police catching that drug dealer, Dirty Kevin?" The cashier said to the other cashier.

"I heard he was working for a new drug ring that was smuggling crystal meth through the Flower Scout cookies." The other cashier answered.

 **Saturday**

"Thank God, we have normal lives unlike those losers." Sasha sneered as she and Erin walked away.

Tabii stayed behind to greet Neil, only for Sasha to grab her by the wrist and dragged her away.

"Muack!" Muack quacked.

"Wanna steal the ice cream machine before we fly back to camp?" Nikki asked glaring at the three girls.

" And the doughnut machine!" Max added. " I've been in the mood for apple fritters lately."

"Muack!" Muack quacked.

 **Still Saturday, probably noon-ish**

"I can't believe you threw away our cookie demands!" Priss shouted at the Flower Scouts (mainly Sasha, Erin, and Tabii). "I needed that fucking vacation! After all I've done for you this is how you repay me?"

The girls trembled in fear as their garden mother yelled at them. Ms. Priss dug into her bag and pulled out a can of tomato juice and her pill container filled with 'cane sugar', when she tried to pour the 'sugar' into the can it was empty.

"How is this empty, I just got this yesterday? " Priss threw the bottle to the ground.

"We put the sugar on the cookies." Tabii answered not thinking (like that's new).

"What?" Priss questioned in an icy tone.

The other Flower Scouts stepped back leaving the trio in the spotlight.

"We used the sugar in your purse for the first batch of cookies to sell." Tabii answered.

"And when we ran out we like phoned your sugar daddy, Dirty Kevin, for more." Erin added.

"And we basically spent a whole week selling the new cane sugar cookies to everyone in Sleepy Peak." Sasha finished.

" Wait - you added 'cane sugar' to all the cookies for a whole week and sold them to everyone in town." Priss said processing everything she heard, until it hit her. " **YOU IDIOTS WERE COOKIN' COOKIES?** "

(See what I did there? Title drop.)

"Girls." Priss said in a sugary voice. "We're going on a little field trip far away from here."

"So grab everything you're tiny hands can carry load it on the bus and remember to pack the ice cream and doughnut machine! " Priss shouted as she opened the door to reveal two tall man, a helicopter, and many police cars.

" Ms. Penelope Priss ?" The agent questioned the garden mother. "I'm Agent Miller and this is my partner Agent Miller."

"We've come to suspect that there has been a drug ring going on in your camp." The other agent said.

 **Cutscene**

" NO!" Priss shouted as she gripped onto the jail bars. " It wasn't me."

"Hey, what are you in for?" Asked a red haired woman with messy hair with the name Nurfington on her nametag.

 **Sunday**

News had spread all over the town of Sleepy Peak on that rain day. The townsfolk were throwing away their boxes of Flower Scout cookies and making doctor appointments. The only place the news didn't hit was Camp Campbell because the rain: caused the newspaper to get wet, the TV was acting up, and the WIFI was acting up to leaving the camp in the dark.

 **The End**

* * *

"Guess we just missed the news." Gwen scoffed it off.

"I'm just glad my credit card company canceled that order of the 500 cookies that were ordered on my card. And that B.B. gun." David said.

"So that's why my B.B. gun hasn't arrived." Max whispered to himself.

"But, that doesn't mean we should give up." David said with a wide grin.

"Were you not paying attention, David?" Gwen barked at her co-counselor. "After what the Flower Scouts did I doubt anyone will buy our chocolates. "

"Oh, come on Gwen, don't be so negative." David said.

"Hey look!" Space Kid announced looking out the window. "Everyone's doing a bonfire like we did."

"A bonfire in the middle of the day?" Neil questioned.

"Wouldn't be the weirdest thing to happen in this town." Max pointed out.

"Yeah, what are they doing- OH MY GOD!" Gwen shrieked.

Everyone was now looking out the window to see the horrors before them: apparently the bonfire was a pile of Flower Scout cookies being lit on fire, many ill looking citizens were lined up against a wall as police officers did a body search for cookies that were placed in plastic bags one claimed _he was holding it for a friend_ as the police put him in a car, there was a line of angry customers in front of the General Store with a sign that read ' **Flower Scout Cookies Refund** ' the women return the money obiviouly worked for the Flower Scouts due to their uniforms and had disgruntled expressions on their faces, the towns pharmacy store had a free drug test day with many people in line that rivaled the refund line, and last there was a senior woman dressed in old-timey wear that came out of the Lil' Country Style boutique and hung a sign that read ' **NO Flower/Wood Scout fundraiser foods Allowed! That also counts for school and other camps as well, you're not special** ' and with that the woman gave the Camp Campbell crew the slit throat gesture.

"Let's go back to camp." David squeaked as he hit the gas and drove them out of that mess.

* * *

Back at Camp

"Okay campers, our sales season- hasn't gotten up on the right start." David babbled. " But that doesn't mean we should give up."

"Like, why not?" Ered questioned .

"Yeah, this is just another scheme of Campbell to get rich off of our hard work." Max inputted.

" I don't do sells after my traumatic Flower Scouts experience. The girl who did worse than me during the cookie sales got ran out and went to an insane asylum. Priss is scary when she's mad." Nikki vouched as she shook as Neil comforted her.

"But kids we have to do this-" David said starting his patrotic speech. "This isn't just about us, it's about the people of Sleepy Peak, the reminder that chocolate is one of few good things in this world, and that Camp Campbell stands for Summer fun!"

The only ones teary-eyed after that speech was Preston and Space Kid.

"I will not lie that 'chocolate is one of few good things in this world' really got me. " Gwen said as she bit into a caramel chocolate bar.

"But if we don't sell how will we pay for the camp?" David question an uncaring Gwen. "I was really looking forward to getting that new telescope for science and space camp."

"WHAT!" Neil actually shoved Nurf out of the way and grabbed David by the shirt until they were at eye-level with each other. "You mean to tell me if we sell these candy bars I could get a telescope?"

"Actually, more than that." David answered. " Ever since Lax-o's closed down poor Mr. Campbell has saved every hard-earned penny for this place."

Gwen and Max both rolled their eyes at that statement.

"And he's been doing his best to supply the camp with what he's earned." David answered. "But, with the chocolate bar sales we could repair the ramp and buy more sports equipment for extremes sports camp."

Ered started to fantasize skateboarding down the new and improved 200 foot ramp with the wind in her hair and her adrenaline high and when she flew off the ramp her skateboard turned into a pair of inline skates and back into a skateboard and so-on.

"We could buy more equipment for science camp." David added.

Neil started to fantasize being in a huge white lab with A/C and florescent lighting. The lab with filled with beakers with colorful liquids in them, a microscope with microscope slides, and a huge modern computer that flashed on and greeted Neil.

"Hello, Neil!" The feminine computer voice greeted.

"Holy shit, I'm in Heaven!" Neil squealed. " Wait a minute- do you need a floppy disk to save stuff."

"HA,ha,ha, you are very funny Neil." The computer laughed robotically. "There is nothing vintage, retro, or old school about me; would you like to create code and find a new element for the periodtic table?"

"You know it." Neil said slyly.

"Now that I think about the 'other' magic camp's L.A.R.P ing equipment needs a few touch ups." David thought out loud as he tapped his chin.

Nerris fantasized she was in a large stone castle high ontop of a mountain covered in snow and hail. Inside her castle she sat on a throne made of swords, spikes, shields, and daggers with her stuffed animals being her life-sized bodyguards.

"We even had guest speakers from time to time like firefighters, nurses, and therapist." David said.

Nurf fantasized that he was in a therapist office sitting on a chaise lounge chair as the therapist started writing down everything she heard.

"It all start when I was born-" Nurf started.

Only to be pushed off the chair by Nikki?

"My turn to be pee-sychlogized." Nikki said as she laid on the coach. "It started last year when my mom signed me up for Flower Scouts last Summer."

"And not only will the activites be upgrade so will the camp's plumbing and shower, come to think of it if there's any left over money the counselors get a raise."

"What?" Gwen grabbed David by his collar. " You mean we'll both get a raise?"

"With the leftover money, of course." David confirmed Gwen's question.

Gwen fantasized being in a purple convertible car with the hood down, a lilac and white polka-a-dot bikini and black sunglasses, with sacks of money, gold, and jewels behind her.

"So long you little shits!" Gwen laughed as she drove away from Camp Campbell while it was in the middle of a downpour as David and campers were getting soaked.

Back to Reality (sadly)

"David we need to sell these chocolate bars!" Gwen said shaking David.

"That's the spirit, Gwen." David said. " Anybody has any ideas to help sell our product?"

"Here's an idea: let's sell them to Quartermaster." Max suggested. "He's been working her longer than David, he's probably loaded."

"Speaking of QM, where is he?" Gwen questioned.

It did hit everyone that the old man was gone.

"That's right I haven't seen him since last week, where is he?" David wondered.

* * *

Somewhere in Cabo

Quartermaster was laying on a towel in old-timey swimsuit drinking one of those fruity drinks with an tiny umbrella.

"Want some?" Quartermaster asked the decaying corpse of the squirrel king laying on a mini towel.

"What about the rest of ya?" Quartermaster asked the other decomposing bodies of the forest animals.

Many beachgoers and tourist who witnessed the scene ran away in panic and screams. Leaving the once overpopulated beach deserted.

"More beach for me." Quarter master said as he continued to drink.

* * *

Back at camp

"Okay gang, we'll have to avoid Sleepy Peak for right now, but there are other towns around here that want our candy bars." Max suggested.

"What a wonderful idea, Max." David congratulated the young boy. "There's Lazy Peak, Drowsy Peak, Heavy-Eyed Peak, Sluggish Peak-"

"I'll start the bus." Gwen said bluntly as she walked towards the bus as David continued to list the other towns.

"You're actually on board with this?" Neil questioned.

"I know what you're thinking, and no I'm not doing this for the camp." Max defended himself. "I'm only doing so I don't have to get up early in the morning only to find out all the hot water was used up in the showers and to avoid scheduled bathroom breaks. It's all selfish reasons."

"That's our Max." Nikki chimed.

"Everyone on the bus, our first stop is Comatose Peak." David announced.

"This place sucks at naming places." Max remarked.

* * *

Okay end of chapter two, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to leave reviews. Bye.


	3. Door-to-Door 2

Hey everyone, this is my late Christmas/ whatever you celebrate present to you. So enjoy.

* * *

Door-to-Door 2

Everyone was on the bus heading to Comatose Peak, ready to sell some chocolate. Comatose Peak was a good ten minutes out of Sleepy Peak so the ride wasn't that long. Comatose Peak was a retirement town filled with retirement/hospice homes, stores selling canes & adult diapers, and the air smelled like an old person's house.

"This place is like one huge trip to grandma's house in the country." Gwen commented looking out the window to see all the towns people and shops with tiny knick-nacks found in grandma's cupboards and restaurants that had specials on oatmeal and creamed corn .

"This looks like a good place to start!" David said pulling up to a retirement home.

The retirement home was a huge pink and white two-story Victorian-styled building with a huge sign on the front that read 'Pushing Daisies Retirement Home'.

Some of the campers (Max, Neil, Ered, etc) laughed at the name while the more innocent (Nikki, Space Kid, etc) the joke went over their heads.

"Like these people weren't close to death already." Gwen grimaced at the sign.

"Okay everybody,-" David said as he carrying twenty boxes (Dang, David's been working out). "Let's grab a box and get selling."

* * *

Inside Pushing Daisies

"Just sign here on the visitors section and you may interact with the seniors." One of the retirement homes nurses said in a nasally voice as she handed a clipboard for Gwen and David to sign. "The rules for guest are simple: no disturbing the seniors if their napping, no loud noises, no tween slang or emojis, and no asking them about any wars. Some of these people have PTSD and they do not need to go off the rails here."

As the Nurse finished explaining everyone glared at Dolph.

"What?" Dolph questioned.

(He's gonna ruin this.)

"Follow me to the main living room." The nurse said as she lead the group to a room full of seniors knitting, playing cards, or napping. "If you have any questions ask me or one of the others on staff."

David scanned the room looking for a customer, and spotted an old lady with a pink dress and pink hat shaped like a flamingo knitting a sweater with a flamingo on it.

"Hello' ma'am." David greeted the woman with a smile. " My campers and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell, you've probably heard of it. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy?"

The woman paid no mind to David still knitting her sweater.

"Um, miss?" David questioned as he waved his hands in front of her.

" Oh, hello there, did you say something?" The old lady asked as she stopped knitting.

Gwen and Max face-palmed themselves.

"I said we're selling chocolates ma'am." David answered holding up a candy bar.

"What about chocolate?" The old lady questioned.

"We're selling chocolate!" David answered again a little louder.

"Selling what?" The old lady asked again.

"Chocolate! We're selling chocolate!" David said even louder trying to stay calm.

"Who's selling chocolate?" The lady put a hand near her ear so she could hear better.

"Camp Campbell! Camp Campbell is selling chocolate!" David shouted now red faced and waving his arms everywhere.

This caught the attention of some of the seniors and nurses who found this hilarious. Gwen and the campers were doing their best not to laugh at (poor) David and the (poor) old lady.

"We should turn this into a meme or something." Max said as he sniggered.

"David, allow me to handle this." Preston said stepping inbetween David and the old woman. " **HEY LADY, WE'RE SELLING CHOCOLATES FOR OUR CAMP SO WE CAN GET INDOOR PLUMBING THAT IS UP TO CODE, SO YOUR MONEY IS GOING TO A VERY IMPOTANT CHARITY!** "

"Why of course I'll buy your chocolate, little girl." The old lady in pink said as she pulled out her coin purse.

"How did you know that would work , Preston?" David asked uncovering his ears.

"My Gram-gram has the same hearing problem." Preston answered nonchalantly.

"Mrs. Earshot?" A male nurse came through the door. "Your new hearing aids are in."

"What was that, sunny?" Mrs. Earshot questioned as the male nurse place the hearing aids in her ears.

"I said your new hearing aids are here." The male nursed answered.

"Not so loud, sunny." Mrs. Earshot cautioned. "What'cha trying to do, lose my hearing?"

David was left dumbfounded.

"Tea?" Gwen asked handing David a teacup and saucer with a paisley pattern on it filled with lemon tea.

"Thank you." David said in a hoarse voice as he gulped down the tea.

"Good news, she paid for three bars so we have $9.00." Preston announced.

"Good boy, Preston!" David congratulated him (in his normal voice). "Now, who else can we sell to?"

*AAAHH*

Everyone turned to a group of seniors throwing chess pieces and balls of yarn at Nurf and Dolph.

(I stand corrected; they are gonna ruin everything.)

"Wait, stop!" David said stopping the seniors from throwing more junk at the two campers. "What's going on?"

"Keep those tiny evils away from me, I spent fifty-seven years trying to erase the scent of gunpowder and blood from out my nose, I don't need to remember it again." An old man said using his can to point at the two.

"What did you two do?" Gwen hissed.

* * *

Back on the Bus

Everyone was back on the bus with infuriated expressions ( even David). After, the _incident_ the Camp Campbell crew ran out before more damage could be done.

" That it you little shits were having sensitivity training camp all this week, blame Nurf and Dolph for that." Gwen said as she pointed at the two.

" Nice going you idiots!" Max spatted at Nurf and Dolph as he threw candy bars at their faces. "It's like you two like having to fucking shower in below sub-zero temperatures and having scheduled bathroom breaks when you need to take a major shit!"

Soon all the campers were throwing candy bars at them, until they reached another retirement home called 'Decaying Oaks'.

Unlike Pushing Daisies, this retirement home was basically a stone and wooded lodge full of trees, flora, and fauna. Upon looking at this place David's eyes lit up like a child in a toy/candy store on Christmas day.

"I want to retire here." David said to himself.

"Let's sell these chocolate bars first, then you can think about your retirement plan." Gwen said dryly as she walked off the bus.

* * *

Inside Decaying Oaks

After, doing the paper work with the head nurse the Camp Campbell crew was inside Decaying Oaks.

"Okay gang let's try to not have another _accident_ like the last stop." David said to the campers. " So who should our first new customers be?"

"How about those two?" Nikki said pointing to an elder couple sitting on a large green-and-purple-striped couch.

The man wore a long-sleeved dark green shirt in burnt sierra jeans and combat boots. He had short grey hair tied in the back with a pony tail, grey-green eyes, and a short grew beard with a few red hairs in it. The woman wore a plum Summer dress, lilac flats, and grey pearl necklace and earrings. She had pale purple eyes and long grey hair in a ponytail with a few black hairs. The two held eachother hand lovingly as they were reading their books the woman was reading a book titled 'Alien Greaser Hotties' and the man was reading 'Nature for Old Folks'.

(It's like Gwenvid in 100 years from now.)

"Is it me or do those two remind you guys of Gwen and David?" Max commented.

" I don't see it." Space Kid admitted earning a shove from Max.

"Hello, sir and ma'am." David greeted the two love birds. " My campers and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell, you've probably heard of it. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy?"

"Did you say, camp?" The old man jumped out of his seat.

"Yes, sir." David acknowledged. "We-"

"I love camping!" The old man said as his wife rolled her eyes and went back to her book. " I was camp counselor in my youth and a park ranger when I got a little older. In fact camping is how I met my wife, Delilah, ain't that right hon?"

"Don't bug these people with your camping crap, George." Delilah moaned not looking up from her book.

"Oh, don't be so negative, hon." George said. " You love camping!"

"I was the first in my family to graduate high school, community college, with a million degrees I was not wasting anymore time at a camp." Delilah said as she clinched her book.

"Ah, don't mind her. I know you like camping don't you tiny?" George said as he patted Max's head.

"Don't fucking pet me." Max said swatting George's hand away.

"Max, language!" David exclaimed. "I'm so sorry, sir."

"Don't worry. In fact he reminds me of our adoptive daughter, Macy." George said.

"Oh no, here he goes." Delilah implored.

"I adopted her after her first year of camp, after me and Delilah married and had more little rugrats of our own. And every Summer we'd travel camp ground to camp ground."

"Oh! Have you been to the Lavender Field camp ground? I've always wanted to go! I heard the lavenders grow all year long even in the Winter." David asked getting excited.

"Been there twenty times, buddy. And the rumors are true." George confirmed.

Gwen stared at the woman not believing what she just heard. She then looked at David and George babbling about camp related stuff.

"Excuse me,-" Gwen turned to see the head nurse. "But visiting hours are over."

"What!" Gwen questioned." But we just got here, why didn't you tell me we checked in when visiting hours were almost over."

"I didn't want to be rude." The head nurse answered in a cherry smiley.

"Aw, over already?" David frowned.

"Don't worry buddy, I'll buy a case. Anything to support camping." George said giving a heroic pose.

" It's like some older version of David." Gwen cringed as she hugged herself.

"Don't worry hun, we've been married for 89 years the stupidity dies with age, sort of." Delilah told Gwen.

"What?" Gwen questioned.

"Wow, married for 89 years!" Max exclaimed sarcastically. "When's the big day Gwen?"

Gwen glared at Max as he made kissy faces, until she came up with a comeback of her own.

"So does that mean you're ready for David to adopt you and change your name to 'David Jr.'?" Gwen smirked as she watched Max's expression change in horror.

"I'm getting back on the bus." Max said as he ran out the room.

Soon everyone was on the bus to the next retirement home as George and Delilah watched them leave eating their candy bars.

"Think they'll sell all that chocolate?" Delilah questioned.

"If they believe hard enough, they will." George concluded. " Do those three remind you of us and Macy?"

"God help the lady one." Delilah said as she bit into her candy bar.

The Camp Campbell crew stopped at three different retirement homes such as: The Golden Ladies Villa, Prune Juice Estates, and Sunrise to Sunset Retirement Home. And after all that hard work they were only able to sale two and a half boxes of chocolate with ninety-eight in a half still remaining .

* * *

Mess Hall

The campers were inside the Mess Hall enjoying(?) their lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, carrot and celery sticks, a bag of either regular, barbeque, or sour cream & onions Laid potato chips, and a packet of either chocolate, vanilla, or banana pudding. The campers didn't complain at least the food was recognizable and normal compared to the blobs of orange, green, and brown 'specials' Quartermaster made during lunch.

"I don't believe it." Max complained as he munched on a carrot stick. "Five old folks homes and we only sold two boxes!"

"Actually, we sold two and a half boxes." Neil corrected Max as he at his jelly sandwich with the crust removed. "And to be fair most of those senior citizens can't eat certain foods when they get older. As our bodies change so do our diets meaning in a few years we won't be able to eat: greasy foods, sugary treats, and the list goes on. "

"Ugh, that's what we have to look forward to when we hit our seventies?" Max hissed. "We might as well die in our thirties, at least we can still eat decent food."

"Attention, campers." David announced as the campers were finishing their lunch. "I'll admit our first day wasn't the best. But, I'm sure the next town will be buying tomorrow."

"With our sales strategies, I doubt it." Max said as he stabbed at his lunch.

"Max is right or selling strategy is mediocre at best." Gwen said as she turned to David and Nikki. "Nikki, David, you two have more sells history than any of us. What did Camp Campbell and the Flower Scouts do to promote sells?"

"From what I remember Ms. Priss told us 'Smile, be pretty, and used the 'cute' look and if that doesn't work you're ugly and just carry the boxes so no one can see you'. That's pretty much it." Nikki answered.

Everyone stared at Nikki in discomfort and sympathy.

"God, I hate people like her." Gwen hissed.

"Well, we waited after the Flower and Wood Scouts sell seasons were over with." David said trying to remember why. "Something about Mr. Campbell inviting the Wood Scouts leader's wife who was also the Flower Scouts leader on a friendship lunch and her inviting him to her house while the husband was at work- "

"Okay, that's enough!" Gwen quickly covered David's mouth.

"From what I saw on the Wood Scout's popcorn sells board they got money from their parents, but that was less than 10%." Gwen said remembering.

" Wow, their own parents wouldn't buy their shitty popcorn?" Max laughed then quieted down."That's relatable."

(Somebody hug this awful baby.)

"So, what's like the plan?" Ered questioned finishing her barbeque chips.

"I can cast an attract spell on the chocolates." Nerris suggested. "But, I'm going to need a lot of rose quartzes, pink and red candles, and a full moon."

(Witchcraft.)

"We could sell this crud to our parents." Neil answered dryly.

"Let's sell this stuff at a gym. Those kale munchers must be dying for something sweet." Max added rubbing his hands together in a sinister motion.

"We threaten them." Nurf said as he smashed his pudding pack.

"It's that attitude is why we are having sensitivity training camp this whole week!" Gwen reminded Nurf as everyone glared at him and Max threw an empty pudding cup at him.

"Okay campers,-" David announced as he opened the double doors. "Time foe sensitivity camp training!"

The campers groaned as they left the Mess Hall.

"So what do we do now?" Gwen said as she helped David pickup the empty plates, glasses, and trays.

"The next town is Lazy Peak which is a two hour drive away from the camp!" David said as he started to make a soapy dish water. "So we'll have to get up extra early tomorrow!"

"Oh man!" Gwen groaned already dreading tomorrow.

* * *

Well, hoped you enjoy this chapter. The next one will be everyone's favorite school trip/ family vacation: a road trip. Let's hope there's no traffic.


	4. Road Trip

I'm back and this chapter is going to be a road trip chapter. You know what road trips are, right? Every Summer or other holiday season being jam packed in a car with your family and having to interact with them, having to stop every 5 seconds to use a gas station bathroom, looking out the window to avoid boredom, hitting traffic even though you left home at 2 in the morning, and the famous phrase 'Are we there yet?'. Yep, this is gonna be a great chapter!

Road Trip

Gwen was in the Mess Hall preparing breakfast and lunch for the campers. Without Quarter Master around and David predicted that they'll be in the next town all day the work fell on Gwen. The only reason Gwen didn't complain was because David was in charge of getting the campers up and dressed.

Gwen prepared a simple (and easy) breakfast of porridge, bacon, and berry and granola parfait from the wild berries David collected from the woods. For lunch Gwen packed the campers ham sandwiches with lettuce and tomatoes, apple juice boxes, a bag of potato chips, and one of the chocolate bars.

Gwen decided to take a moment to reread her book titled 'I Like My Hotties Hot!' while eating her own breakfast.

The door slammed opened to reveal a disgruntled Max with his hair messed with his trademark scowl on his face. Gwen didn't greet him, knowing it would be returned by a rude comment. Max just took a tray and grabbed a parfait, a bowl of porridge, three slices of bacon, and his usual 'NOPE' coffee mug and filled it with black coffee, took his usual seat and ate his breakfast.

The two didn't say a word or make eye contact, this was one of their rare moments where they weren't at each others throat.

*SLAM*

The door was kicked open by Ered with the other campers following behind who had bags under their eyes and hair messier than usual. The kids grabbed their breakfasts trying to eat and keep their heads from falling into the food.

David soon popped in with his hair messy and two scratch marks on his face.

"Jesus!" Gwen exclaimed. "What happened to you."

"Nikki was dreaming she was a wolf and eating all the rabbits in the forest." David said as his eyes twitched in horror.

Gwen glared at Nikki, only to see the young girl half awake licking her porridge like at kitten drinks milk instead of starving wolf like usual.

Gwen just sighed and went into the kitchen to get the first aid kit for David. After, everyone was finish eating breakfast they cleaned the Mess Hall and headed on the bus to Lazy Peak.

It was quiet the first few minutes as everyone was still tired from waking up too early. Then the chaos!

Nurf was punching the glass windows on the bus, Nerris and Harrison were getting into a spat about wizards and warlocks, Nikki barked at the window every time she saw a squirrel, Preston was reciting the whole Romeo and Juliet play, David decided to lighten the mood by singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' song which Nikki and Space Kid joined in. The only ones quiet on the trip was Max scowling as he was trying to read his new issues of Spider-man and Batman, Gwen having her head phones on trying to watch an episode of Oprah, the ID channel, or something violent on her phone, Ered gripped her headphones closer trying to listen to her rad tunes, and Neil was throwing up in a bag (no wonder he's so skinny).

From what Gwen remembered David said the next town was two hours away. And the amount of time that passed was- ten minutes. Gwen gave a groan.

"Okay, Gwen-" David caught Gwen's attention. "Which turn do I take?"

"The map says; turn on left then head straight til we reach Made of Wood Rd. then turn right." Gwen said as she read the map.

"Thanks, CBFL." David thanked Gwen as he made the turn.

As soon as the sign for Made of Wood Rd. came up David made the right and for another good ten minutes there was nothing but open road.

"Are we there yet?" Max groaned as he kicked the seat cushion.

"Don't start." Gwen gave an exhausted sigh.

But, Max did have a point they should've been in the new town eight minutes ago! Gwen checked back on the map to see if they were going the right way.

"David, I think there's something wrong with the map." Gwen said catching David's attention.

"Why do you say that, Gwen?" David questioned.

"Because according to this map we should have been in Lazy Peak eight minutes ago." Gwen said as she gripped the back of the seat David was sitting on.

" It's probably just... a delay?" David answered unsure of himself.

"Now the map said we should be on Dead Man's Rd." Gwen said as she was reading the map.

"There's no signs saying Dead Man's Rd." David said looking at the road for any road signs.

"What is with this map?" Gwen questioned in an irritated tone as she scanned the map to see the date it was made-1955!

'WE'RE READING A STUPID MAP FROM THE 50'S!' Gwen thought as she scrunched the map up.

"Gwen, what are you doing to the map!?" David questioned in alarm.

"David this map is out of date it's from the 50's. The next gas station, person, or house we see we need to pull over and - " Gwen's voice suddenly became slow-mo as David heard the last phrase. "Ask for directions!"

(Men's greatest fear.)

David's hands clenched onto the steering wheel, his eyes widened, his forehead forrowed, and he slammed hard on the brakes.

This sent everyone flying out of their seats and David gain control of the wheel and were safely on the side of the road.

"Jesus, David, watch it!" Max scorned the older man.

"What's wrong; all I said was that we needed to stop for directions?" Gwen said standing tapping her right foot, waiting for David to respond.

" Because, we do not need to stop, I'm sure we'll be there in a few minutes." David said in a confident voice as he drove the bus back on the road.

"What the hell is it with men and asking for directions?" Gwen shouted at David as he cringed in fear.

"Gwen, we do not need directions. We have a map!" David said triumpthly as he pulled out said map.

Muack jumped up snagging the map in her teeth and started to rip it into shreds.

"Nice." Max gave Muack a thumbs up with a smug look on his face.

"That's it pull over, David!" Gwen demand as she pulled David by his collar.

"We don't need to pull over, Gwen." David stated trying to keep his eyes on the empty road.

"Pull. Over . David !" Gwen gritted through her teeth as she grabbed David by the collar til their noses touched each other.

"Aw, are mommy and daddy fighting?" Max teased earning a glare and middle finger from Gwen.

"What, no!" Space Kid screamed as tears flooded his eyes. " Don't fight and start calling each other 'minuteman' like mommy calls daddy."

"I call dibs on living with David!" Nikki exclaimed as she raised her hands. " He's the only person here that shares my love of nature, the outdoors, s'mores, and trail mix!"

"My best choice is Gwen, atleast she has proof she went graduated from college." Neil said dryly earning two middle fingers from Gwen which made him cower.

"Kids, Gwen and I are not fighting." David said as he got up. " We're having a little dispute on whether to use the map or not."

"In twenty minutes by car or bus you will arrive at your destination." A computer voice said.

David turned to see Gwen using her phone app for directions.

" I can't believe you went behind my back like that, Gwen!" David said with his eyes becoming misty with tears.

" Oh, this would make a great 90's sitcom." Max said grinning ear to ear.

"Shut up Max, and sorry David, but we're running on a time schedule." Gwen apologized. " If it makes you feel better I drive the rest of the way."

"I totally understand and I forgive you, CBFL." David said with a huge smile on his face and eyes filled with stars. He sat in the seat Gwen previously was and sat down like a good boy.

(This man was a puppy in his past life.)

"I'm bored!" Nikki announced catching everyone's attention.

"Candy fight!" Max shouted as he and the other campers started to throw candy bars at each other.

"Kids, stop throwing the chocolate bars or so help me I will turn this bus around." Gwen said in a mom-tone.

"But, we're bored." Max said as he threw a bar at David's face.

"Max, you heard what Gwen said no more throwing candy bars." David said in a dad-tone.

(Dadvid and MomGwen to the rescue.)

*KABOOM*

*AAAAHHHHH!*

The campers screamed as the bus started to speed up. Gwen stomped her foot on the emergency brakes but nothing happened as she swirled the bus's spinning wheel.

"Hit the emergency brakes!" David shouted.

"I' am their not working!" Gwen panicked as she slammed down on the emergency brakes.

"How about the regular brakes?" David questioned as he gripped onto the seat.

Gwen slammed down on the regular brakes that stopped the bus, causing the Camp Camp gang to fly to the front windows and have their faces smooshed by the glass. Everyone slowly got up groaning and pain and checking to see if any bones were broken.

"What the fuck was that?" Max questioned rubbing his sore cheeks.

"Guys, check it out." Ered gain everyone's attention as she was under the drivers seat and pulled out a note.

"'Dear Camp Campbell residents,'" Ered said reading the note. " I must return to Russia due to Thailand thinking 'I embezzled all their money' so I'm selling the camp bus emergency brakes on the black money to pay them back 10/90. Enjoy the rest of your Summer. Cameron Campbell. P.S. Emergency Brakes are worth more then a heart, liver, or spine on the black market. P.S.S I get the 90%. P.S.S. Remember to write your parents your having fun at camp and to invite others for next year."

"This is so not cool." Ered said as she crumbled the letter.

"DAMN YOU, CAMPBELL!" Max screamed to the heavens. "And may all your Swiss bank accounts freeze like snow in the North Pole!"

* * *

Somewhere in Russia

Fancy Spa Resort

Campbell was at some ritzy spa resort where the flooring was polished marble, columns supported the structure of the building, the waters came from a natural springs, and peacocks and dove roamed the spa. (You'd have to sell your first born, blood, and your soul to go to this place.)

Campbell was currently in a sauna with a green mud mask on his face, cucumbers on his eyes, a white towel that barely covered his crotch, and glass filled with expensive red wine. Suddenly, Campbell dropped the glass of wine, clutched his heart, and fell to his knees.

"MY SWISS BANK ACCOUNTS!" He screamed in agonizing pain.

* * *

Well that was fun! Back to the Camp Camp gang.

David and Gwen were currently fixing the new emergency brakes on the bus while the kids sat outside by the road.

" I really wish warned us that he took out the emergency brake." David said as he was working on the brakes and making sure the other parts of the bus were working.

"I wish his greedy-ass hands didn't mess with the stupid brakes." Gwen grumbled as she handed David a wrench.

" Should we check on the campers, it's very quiet. Too quiet!" David admitted as he grabbed the wrench.

As much as he cared for his campers they could be a bit 'much', and leaving them alone for too long would leave to mischief.

"Way ahead of you." Gwen said handing David a screwdriver "I put Neil in charge for an 'emergency science camp session' "

Normally, the kids would've been up to their mischievous ways, but Neil's 'emergency science camp session' was so boring that it was slowly putting the campers to sleep (minus Space Kid).

"That was a great idea, Gwen!" David complimented his CBFL.

"It was nothing." Gwen said as she handed David a toilet plunger (don't ask why).

The bus started to make low chirping sounds.

" Okay, we're ready to go!" David said getting up from under the driver's seat.

"And that was the first law of thermodynamics! " Neil ended excitedly unaware that his fellow campers were put to sleep, except Space Kid who had stars in his eyes from all the knowledge. " Now to study the big bang theory and the law of conservation energy-"

"Alright Camp Camp campers, back on the bus!" David announced.

"Oh thank Houdini, I thought I'd die from anymore nerd talk!" Harrison gasped as he rose to his feet.

"When, school starts back up I better get good grades from all that science crap." Ered remarked as she got on the us.

"I almost ate that rabbit." Nikki growled.

Back on the bus

"Okay gang, we may have had a little detour, but now we're back on track." David said as he put the keys in to start the bus.

*POP*

As the bus started the tire on the right side popped causing the bus to shift to the left as a hissing sound was heard coming from the tires.

"Everyone off the bus!" Gwen shouted.

Off the bus

As the Camp Camp group went to inspect the tire to see a nail was in it.

"Where the hell did that nail come from?" Gwen questioned as she held the nail between her fingers.

It wasn't a tack nail it was a large and thick and was almost the size of Gwen's hand, it definitely would put a hole in a bus tire.

"Hey, look what I found!" Everyone turned to Space Kid who was holding a folded note.

" What does the mysterious scroll say? " Nerris questioned.

"It says 'Dear Camp Campbell, if you are reading this you are probably in the middle of nowhere far from any gas station, civilization, or Wi-Fi hot spots. After, many humiliating defeats to recruit you all to the Wood Scouts , we've decided to raid your camp of your supplies. But, to be honest you guys have nothing! For fucks sake you guys don't even have decant plumbing. So we decided to set your emergency tire on fire, rip up your tents, and planted nails into your tires so they could brake down. Forever your enemy, Edward Pikeman. P.S. Get some emergency brakes, it's like you guys are trying to kill yourselves and we have death themed activities at our camp! '"

"DAMN YOU, Pikeman!" Max screamed to the heavens. "And may your zits cover your entire body forever and Jermy eat all your beans and have a mega fart !"

* * *

Wood Scouts Camp

It was pouring with rain as thunder and lighting illuminating the skies (well at least that part of the lake.) All the Wood Scouts were in the main lodge celebrating a successful popcorn sellng season and the humiliating defeat of their rivals the Flower Scouts.

"Gentlemen." Pikeman clicked his spoon on his glass cup filled with (child friendly) sparkling apple cider. " A toast to us for a successful popcorn sales season after so many long nightmarish years and the fall of our enemies the Flower Scouts cookie sales."

Snake, Petrol, Jermy, and the other Wood Scouts raised their cups filled with (child friendly) sparkling apple cider.

"But let us not forget the woman who made it all possible." Pikeman said as he walked towards the chalkboard that had their popcorn sales strategy and flipped it over to reveal some sort of love shrine covered in horribly made red paper hearts and images of Gwen; giving someone the bird, yelling at the campers (mainly Max, Nurf, and Dolph), and one image in particular was a picture of everyone at Camp Campbell (the one after the Camporee episode) but with his face pasted on were David's face should be, and on top of it with big bold words Gwen's named carved in the board. (Somebody call the cops before this ends up on the ID channel). "Gwen, the woman of many talents."

"Should we call the cops because this is stalking-like?" Jermy asked as he raised his hand dropping his glass of (child friendly) sparkling apple cider. "Oh, beans."

"Shut up, Jermy!" Pikeman shouted. "And I told you guys to give Jermy a plastic cup, those glasses are not cheap-AAH!"

Suddenly, Pikeman fell on his back, started to wither in pain as foam formed near his mouth.

"Pikeman!" Snake shouted as he, Petrol, and the others surrounded him.

"Don't worry I practice kissing with my dog with peanut butter, that's like CPR, right?" Jermy asked as the others made disgusted expressions.

"NO, I RATHER DIE!" Pikeman screamed wiping the foam from his mouth.

" What just happened?" Snake questioned.

" I don't know, but I feel as though somebody just cursed me to have zits forever and that Jermy ate beans, all the beans." Pikeman started to shake in terror.

"Speaking of beans." Everyone turned to Jermy who was clutching his stomach. " I don't feel so good after eating all the: bean dip, the three-bean-salad, the black pepper and bacon pinto beans, the mini bean burritos, and these cans of beans called 'Ex-pir-ed'."

Jermy pulled out an empty bulk can that had a paper label slapped on it that read 'Warning;Expired!'.

"HIT THE DECK!" Pikeman shouted as the Wood Scouts evacuated the main lodge.

*BOOM*

Everyone was coughing, choking, and gasping for air.

"Why did we serve so bean related foods?" A Wood Scout questioned himself before fainting.

"Sorry guys, you might want to crack a window." Jermy apologized.

"God, I hate you!" Pikeman said before fainting.

* * *

Well that was disgusting back to the Camp Camp gang

"PUSH!"

The group pushed the bus from behind to make it go forward.

"Push!"

Everyone groaned as they put all their muscles into pushing the bus. The group pulled up to the only gas station for miles. The gas station looked like any other gas station with a gasoline smell that seemed to be equipped with tires and a restroom.

"Okay, stop we're here." Gwen said as she wiped the sweat from her brow. "I'll see if this gas station can give us a new tire."

" Well I guess we can count this one as cardio camp." David said as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "Okay everyone time for a break."

Everyone fell to the ground in exhaustion. Everyone was so hot, tired, and exhausted even Max took off his hoodie to reveal his Camp Campbell shirt.

"I don't know who I hate more now; Campbell or the Wood Scouts." Max panted as he wiped his sweat.

"I'd go with both." Neil stated.

"David!" Space Kid exclaimed as he raised his hand.

"Yes, Space Kid?" David question.

"I need to go to the little astronauts room. Like really bad!" Space Kid answered as he was doing the bathroom dance and hopping up and down.

"Oh, dear." David uttered as he picked up Space Kid and ran into the gas station.

David noticed three bathroom doors one for men, one for women, and one for family or who ever needed to use it. David shoved Space Kid in the bathroom hoping the young space cadet didn't have an accident.

"Okay, I'm done, thanks David." Space Kid came out with toilet paper on his foot.

"Your welcome, now let's go back to the others." David made his way to the exit.

"Actually, I need to wash my hands I couldn't reach the sink." Space Kid said holding out his hands.

David gave an exhausted sigh as he rubbed his forehead.

Back outside

"Okay, Space Kid is back." David said greeting his campers. "Anyone else need to use the restroom."

Everyone started to raise their hands as David gave another exhausted sigh.

"Okay everyone to the bathrooms." David said as he pointed the campers to the door.

"And that's what happened." Gwen said explaining to a man around her and David's age with long blond hair that reached to his hips, wave and fish tattoos on his arms, and he smelled of saltwater, a regular surfer dude.

"Whoa, sorry about that babe." The man said. "But, yeah I can replace your tires."

"Yes!" Gwen exclaimed as she punched the air.

"Speaking of bus trouble; my campers and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell, you've probably heard of it. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy?" David asked holding a box of chocolate bars.

"Sorry, dude." The man said. "My uncle said I can't buy things from others while on the job."

"Darn." David child cursed.

"But let's see about that tire." The man said as he put on some gloves to inspect the bus.

Ten minutes later

The new tire was on the bus and the Camp Camp group was ready to go.

"Thank you so much for all your help." David said as he and the gas station attendant shake hands.

"No problem dude, here's the bill." The gas station attendant hand David the bill.

As David read the bill he's eyes popped out, his arms began to shake, and his forehead furrowed.

" What's wrong?" Gwen asked as David handed her the bill.

Gwen read the bill with fire in her eyes and clutched the paper with her fist.

"Damn you Campbell and Wood Scouts!" Gwen cursed to the heavens. "May your gold mine be filled with fool's gold and may all your popcorn burn!"

* * *

Russia (again)

Still at the ritzy spa

Campbell was currently enjoying his hot tub while eating cucumber sandwiches, those fancy cheese plates with grapes, and a huge bottle of wine. As he was swallowing his cheese samples he started to choke. He kept coughing and gasping for air until he punched himself in the stomach dislodging the cheese.

"I feel as though someone is trying to kill me." Campbell gasped for air.

Woods Scouts Camp

As soon as the smell cleared out of the main lodge the Wood Scouts were back inside trying to reclaim their celebration. On cue the campers started to cough and gag in unison until the same pain vanished.

"What just happened?" Snake questioned as he clutched his eye patch.

"I don't know, but it feels as though someone has cursed our popcorn to burn." Pikeman answered disturbed.

* * *

Back to the Camp Camp gang

"I can't believe it cost so much to fix a tire." David said while driving.

"I can't believe that gas station had better plumbing than the camp and it ran out of soap." Gwen said as she was rubbing hand sanitizer on her hands.

The gang had finally reached their destination: Lazy Peak. Lazy Peak resembled except: it appeared the shops were in business and not boarded up, the building had pastel color schemes and white picked fences, and the road was paved.

"Wow, this place is way nicer than Sleepy Peak." Gwen said in aww while looking out the window to see all the shops that had killer boots.

"It's even better: they have technology from this decade like DVDs!" Neil gushed as he pointed at a digital store (think Best Buy) that had a large sign that said Blu-ray and DVD sale 50% off.

"Oh, come on gang, Sleepy Peak has its charms too." David said trying to defend Sleepy Peak as he drove up to what seemed to be the town hall. "We'll start here at town hall and work our way to the neighborhoods."

"Am I the only to notice that there is literally nobody here, it's like a ghost town. " Max blurted out.

Max was right the town was empty. There wasn't even trash on the ground to show any signs of life was there.

"Maybe it's a holiday here." Nikki pointed out as sparkle filled her eyes. " I mean today maybe Christmas!"

"No, Nikki, it's Summer." Gwen blurted out.

"Hey, what does that sign say, that's been right in front of us this whole time?" Preston shouted.

There was indeed a large sign; with large, capital, and red letters on it.

"That says 'Emergency Evacuation due to Locust breeding season.'" David read the sign.

"Locust? What Locust?" Space Kid question.

As if on cue a buzzing sound filled the air and a tidal wave of locust that rose higher than the town hall building began to fall.

*AAAHHH*

* * *

Cut Scene

Everyone now had a scowl on their face (even David and Space kid) as the bus was now covered with dead locustes. Muack was currently chomping down on some of the dead locust. Nikki picked one up about to put it in her mouth, until Gwen swat it out of her hand.

"Don't eat that, Nikki!" Gwen shouted at the green/teal headed girl.

"But, Muack gets to eat locusts." Nikki whined.

"Muack is a wild animal she at a hamster and her own baby for crying out loud." Gwen said as she pointed at the platypus.

"Muack!" Muack quacked.

"Yeah, I'm getting pretty hungry." Space Kid said as he rubbed his grumbling tummy.

"I say we have a feast!" Nerris announced as she placed her foot on one of the bus seats in a heroic pose. "A feast consisting of potatoes decapitated by a guillotine then boiled in acid heated by dragons' fire and sprinkled with pixie dust, an entrée made by the finest bakers' bread cleaved in half, meat cut from the most prized cow, fromage crafted by skilled milkmaids, red fruit from dungeon vines chopped, blades of green acting as a soft blanket, for those who are brave enough to eat it; bulbs from smelly ogres so hideous they make grown men cry, and nectar from the mystical fairy springs served in a goblet, and those who complete the feast a badge of honor. "

"Ooh!" The campers 'oohed' in awe of Nerris's description of the feast.

" Yeah, there's a Mc' Princess Sliders about five minutes from here." Max blurted out from reading David's phone. "And that was the longest description of burger, fries, soft drink, and a shitty fast food toy I've ever heard. And hopefully my last."

"You're so boring, where's your sense of fantasy?" Nerris huffed as she crossed her arms.

"Probably in the Quartermaster's store in a cursed box." Max answered sarcastically.

"That's it!" Nerris jumped out of her seat with her dies between her fingers. "You've earned yourself a twenty-sided-ass-whooping!"

"Bring it, Nerris!" Max said cracking his knuckles.

"Beat each other up you little brats!" Gwen cheered ready to see the two kids kill each other.

"Kids, violence solves nothing!" David interjected. "Now, lets enjoy the nice lunches Gwen worked so hard on."

"But, David-" Nikki began to whine. " I want a Mc' Princess Sliders kiddie meal."

"I've been dying for a moo-moo- vanilla-chai-mocha-frappe-with-salted-caramel-chocolate-drizzle-whipped-cream-and-cookie-crumbles-on-top all Summer." Ered explained her drink of choice.

"I want the new 'Galatic Girlz' toy!" Space Kid shouted.

"I want an extra large root beer with extra caffeine!" Preston shouted.

Soon he other campers were giving their orders.

"Enough!" Gwen shouted putting her foot down. "We'll get your kiddie meals, but this is coming out of your parents' college funds for you."

The bus drove up to Mc' Princess Sliders. It was your average fast food place except it was pastel colored and looked like a mini castle. The sign for the building was a burger with a princess's cone hat, it had outdoor seating, and a small playground for the kids.

"Okay that'll be: 5 Mc' Princess Sliders kiddie meals with chicken nuggets and sliders, 3 magic garden salads with ranch and Italian dressings, 1 moo-moo- vanilla-chai-mocha-frappe-with-salted-caramel-chocolate-drizzle-whipped-cream-and-cookie-crumbles-on-top, 1 extra large root beer with extra caffeine, 1 king beef-beefy burger, 2 Merlin's grilled chicken sandwiches, 5 chocolate milks, 2 Dr. Sassy drinks, 1 lemonade iced tea and the rest are french fries." Gwen finished reading the list of what everyone wanted on her clipboard.

"Max what did you say you wanted?" David questioned.

" Get me a black coffee, large order of fries with twenty ketchup packets, and a I hate my parents meal." Max said while beating David's sugar crashers high score.

"Okay, time to make our orders." David drove up to the menu speaker waiting for someone to greet him. "Hello?"

"Go up to the drive-thru window the speakers must be busted." Gwen commented.

As David drove up to the drive through windows no one was there, it then dawned on the Camp Camp group that there were no cars in the parking lot, no children on the tiny playground, and no one was inside.

"What gives, is it closed for the day?" Harrison spatted.

"Hey, look up there on the sign." Nikki pointed at the Mc' Princess Sliders sign.

The sign read 'Shut Down Due to Rat Colony!'

"Rats! What rats?" Neil questioned.

On cue rats started to board up the resturant's windows.

*AAAHHH*

"What kind of app brings you to a closed down rat infested fast food joint?" Max shouted.

"Kids, line up and get your lunches." Gwen said from the back of the bus getting the lunch bags from out of the cooler.

Far from the rat infested restaurant, on the side of the road somewhere. The group was eating their bag lunches.

"This may not be the epic feast I described, but this meal will nourish us for our quest." Nerris said as she plucked a potato chip in her mouth.

""Shut up, Nerris." Harrison said while he dranked his carton of apple juice.

"What's wrong with you people?" Neil yelled as he held his sandwich in the air. " I don't eat pork!"

"Then, explain why you ate my bacon then." Max said as he bit into his sandwich.

"Hey, that was a friendship secret!" Neil spatted while blushing.

"I'll eat it." Nikki chimed in as she bit into Neil's sandwich devouring the ham with her wolf-like teeth.

Neil flipped the sandwich over to reveal Nikki's bite marks. "Why did I open my big mouth?"

"Okay everyone," David announced. "The last town was a surprise for us all, but the next town is Drowsy Peak so after lunch we'll be heading that way."

After, lunch the gang headed to Drowsy Peak hoping it wouldn't end the same way as Lazy Peak.

* * *

Done! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.


	5. Into (A New) Town

Into (A New) Town

Drowse Peak

The Camp Camp crew finally arrived at the populated town known as Drowse Peak. The town had retro and vintage crap feel like Sleepy Peak, but it was more of a stylist 50's and 60's vibe and actually had modern technology . This town had a number of cafes, boutiques, toy stores, and etc. which was more to offer than Sleepy Peak.

"Okay, is every town we go through gonna be better than the one the camp is located?" Gwen questioned as they passed a huge book store.

"Appears so." Ered answered as the bus past a skate park.

"Hey, here's a friendly looking cul-de-sac." David pointed at the pastel colored houses with white picked fences.

"This looks like the kind of place where everyone dresses like they're from the 1950's, but are actual serial killers." Max commented.

"Like Daniel and Jen!" Nikki added.

"Kids, we said we would never for the rest of our lives talk about those two." David cringed as he gripped the steering wheel remembering the cultist and satanist.

David parked the bus in a empty lot as the rest got out the candy bars.

"Okay gang let's remember what we talked about." David said.

"About sensitivity training camp or the candy bars?" Neil questioned as he raised his hand.

"The candy bars, Neil." David answered.

The group walked up to a one-story pastel pink house that was littered with plastic flamingos.

"Yep, this is the house of a psychopath who probably has a hundred bodies in the basement." Max commented.

David rung the doorbell to the house.

*Ding Dong*

"Who is it?" A feminine voice questioned from inside the house.

"Hello ma'am, I-" David began.

" Oh, I've been _expecting you_." The feminine voice now sounded seductive. "I'll be there in just a second."

"Expecting us?" David question with a confused look on his face.

"Yeah, there's no way in hell, someone could've known we'd be selling chocolate." Max said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

The door swung opened to reveal a woman in her 50's wearing a sheer pink robe with feather lining, pink pumps, curly hair blonde hair (think Marilyn Monroe) and red lipstick on.

This left everyone dumbfounded with shocked expressions on their faces.

"Strange I thought I ordered the milkman dancer not the park ranger dancer." The woman said as she scanned David up and down as her eyes became flirty. "But you'll do!"

"WHAT?" David yelped.

Suddenly, a fancy black car pulled up to the drive-in with a man shorter than Gwen came out with flowers and a box of chocolates in hand.

"Honey, great news I just got promoted and they gave me the day off- who are these people? " The oblivious husband questioned.

Then, a party bus covered in splatter paint and glitter with pop-techno music played out of it. The Doors opened up to reveal a buff chippendales dancer with a milkman's hat, black bowtie, and wearing cow print hot pants.

" Hello The milkman has arrived with your deliver of vitamin C and -" The man announced in a sexy voice until he noticed the children in front of him. "Did I get the wrong address again?"

" I was wrong this a 1950's housewife sleeping with the milkman scenario." Max grimaced.

"Your having an affair?" The husband bawled as tears ran down his eyes and snot coming out of his nose.

The woman shut slowly closed the door behind her not answering her husband's question. The husband fell to his knees crying his heart out.

"Man this is just as creepy as the time I went on that island full of old people having kinky sex." The milkman Chippendales dancer said as he got back on the party bus.

"Kids to the next house!" Gwen announced pointing to a pastel green house.

As the group headed to the next house David, Max, and Gwen lagged behind as they saw the poor husband on the ground crying his heart out. Gwen and David looked at each other with sympathetic looks as they walked up towards the man.

"Hey, there it's okay." David said as he patted the man's shoulder. "I know how you feel, when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me I was a wreck for a week."

"And you beat up her new boyfriend." Max said bluntly.

" _Not now, Max!_ " David whispered to the grumpy camper.

"I can't believe she cheated on me." The man whimpered as more tears ran down his face.

"Look buddy being cheated on sucks: the person you thought you loved betrays your trust, they promise to do better if you take them back, their mother begs you and says they'll pay you if you date them again, you have to get a restraining order, then you have to go to court because they violated the restraining order, and you have to go to every hearing to make sure they stay in jail." Gwen said in a nonchalant voice and deadpanned expression.

"Wait that's happened to you before?" Max and David gasped in unison.

"Try three times; that's why I read trashy romance novels so I don't lose faith in real love and to prove I'm better than my exs." Gwen said.

"Anyways: So what if she's cheating on you just divorce her!" Max said to the weeping husband. "Besides you'll end up with the house and when the court finds out she cheated on you won't have to pay her alimony."

"Okay." The husband continued to snivel.

"You think he'll be okay?" David asked Gwen with concern in his voice.

" Divorce is a hard topic David. Hopefully he'll get therapy so he can have someone to talk to." Gwen answered.

" Wow, your Psych degree actual came in hand for once." Max commented earning a very painful bap at the back of his head from Gwen.

"Sorry, you kids had to see that. But there is a lesson here: you should never cheat on someone." David said rubbing the back of his head.

"That's nothing new to me; my next door neighbor has an affair with an actual milkman." Nurf said.

"Geez, I didn't know milkman still existed, and housewives still cheated with them." Neil admitted.

"Actually he's a house-husband and he cheats on her." Nurf corrected as everyone backed away from him.

"We're adding this to sensitivity camp aren't we?" Gwen asked David as she rubbed her temples.

"Yep." David answered.

The house next door was pastel green with clean cut grass with no blade out of place and near the house had bushes filled with roses.

*Ding Dong*

The door revealed a man wearing a sweatband, towel around his neck, and wearing green sweats while jogging in place.

"Hello sir." David greeted the man with a smile. " My campers and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell, you've probably heard of it. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy?"

"Do I look like someone who eats sweets?" The man gestured his body. "I only eat meals that are: paleo, nondairy, nonfat, and non fried foods. You want to sell those sugar coated crap bars try next door she loves the stuff."

*SLAM*

"Rude!" Preston shouted as the door slammed on their faces.

" Well, he did say that the person next door loves chocolate, so maybe we'll get at least someone to buy a candy bar." David remain optimistic.

*Ding Dong*

The door opened to reveal a woman in her mid-thirties wearing a brown butten down shirt, with brown, dark brown, and white pearl necklace, and chestnut brown hair in a tight bun.

"Hello, can I help you?" The woman asked politely.

"Hello' ma'am." David greeted the woman with a smile. " My campers and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell, you've probably heard of it. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy?"

The woman's left eye started to twitch. "Did you say chocolate?"

"Yes ma'am, we have a total of eight different flavors -"

"Chocolate." The woman breathed heavily interrupting David.

"Yes, that's what he said lady." Max butted in. "So are you gonna buy some or what?"

"Chocolate!" The woman screamed as her bun became undone, the expression on her face was crazy, and foam appeared to come out of her mouth.

"RUN!" David ordered everyone as they ran to the bus and drove out of the cul-de-sac.

"CHOCOLATE!CHOCOLATE!CHOCOLATE!" The woman's screamed were heard until they arrived at a new neighborhood.

* * *

On the Bus

"What the hell is with this place; we went to a total of eight houses full of crazies?" Neil gasped as he pulled out his inhaler. "I mean seriously, I expect this from Sleepy Peak."

" Eh, I've seen worse during Flower Scout Cookie sales." Nikki said nonchalantly as she was picking the bandage on her knee.

"Okay gang were gonna have to up our sales game. The Flower and Wood Scouts go door-to-door like were doing, so what can we do to jazz it up?" David questioned the group.

"Charms!" Nerris exclaimed as she pulled out a bag of glitter and threw it in the air.

" We sing show tunes!" Preston exclaimed loudly as everyone covered their ears.

"Blackmail." Max said bluntly.

"Max, no, that's bad and illegal." David said in a disappointed tone as he wagged his finger at Max. "Besides didn't you learn your lesson after trying to blackmail Gwen?"

"I learned not to blackmail her, ever and I mean ever again." Max said unaware that Gwen smirked a little from the comment as she had her face stuck in her new magazine issue of ' Avoid People monthly'.

"Wait, Max blackmailed Gwen? When did this happen." Harrison questioned.

"Yeah, I don't remember hearing about that." Nerris agreed.

"Max blackmailed Gwen that if she didn't get his teddy bear from the Wood Scouts he'd tell David she was job hunting to leave camp. It was funny." Nikki told the whole story with a few giggles.

The other campers snickered at the memory.

" So? I have like 30+ stuffed animals." Nerris just brushed it off.

"We're kids it's kinda normal to have that kind of junk." Harrison just said in a monotone voice.

" Just for that you two are on the DO-NOT-BLACKMAIL-LIST with Gwen." Max said as he pulled out a clipboard.

"You have a blackmail list?" Space Kid asked.

"Yes." Max turned around to face the other campers with a sinister look in his eyes. "And I have dirt on all of you."

The campers stopped snickering and gulp down a lump of fear in their throats.

* * *

Max's Blacklist List

The clipboard had a sheet of paper that had DO-NOT-BLACKMAIL one side had **DO** in red ink and **NO** in blue ink.

 **NO**

 **1\. Nikki & Neil (Only friends in this shitty hellhole (and life))**

 **2\. Gwen (Never blackmail her again)**

 **3\. Harrison and Nerris**

 **4\. Muack**

 **DO**

 **1\. Parents (Childhood gone), Campbell (Corrupted Rich Asshole ), Pikeman**

 **2\. Nurf & Doplh (For obvious reasons), Flower Scouts (Mainly Sasha), Quartermaster (Bad guy of every horror movie)**

 **4\. Ered (I'm the #1 Leader)**

 **5\. The rest**

 **6.** **David (He's still annoying)**

* * *

"Oh,oh,oh!" Nikki oohed as she raised her hand.

"Yes, Nikki?" David questioned.

"We need to use the kiddie act." Nikki answered.

"The kiddie what?" Max questioned flatly.

"The kiddie act is when you act cute, do the puppy dog eyes, do a little act and boom chocolate sold, the kiddie act!" Nikki exclaimed.

"Many people do that technique and I don't believe they call it the kiddie act." Neil stated.

"Of course, we'll use our despair to fool the audience into buying our chocolates." Preston said as he did dramatic poses.

"Lets try this neighborhood." David said as they entered a different street.

"And pray it's not full of weirdos." Gwen said.

* * *

New Neighborhood

"Your up, Nikki." David whispered as he gave Nikki the thumbs up.

*Ding Dong*

Nikki's eyes became large cutesy puppy eyes as the door opened up reveal two men one wearing pink glasses and a teal sweater vest while the other wore teal glasses and a pink sweater vest.

"Hello sirs." Nikki greeted the two men in a cutesy doll voice. " My camp and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell, you've probably heard of it. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy?"

"Timothy, did you hear that?" The man wearing pink glasses and a teal sweater vest said.

"Of course, Harold." The man wearing teal glasses and a pink sweater vest answered. "How much?"

"$3.00 each, misters." Nikki answered in a cute voice.

Nikki came out with a wad of cash in her hands.

"Whoa!" Everyone exclaimed at Nikki's selling skills

"Nikki, that was beautiful!" Preston praised Nikki's acting abilities.

"Eh, it was nothing." Nikki said as she handed the wad of cash to Gwen.

"Holy shit, they must have bought the whole case!" Gwen said as she counted the money.

"Okay, everyone here's the plan; we all do what Nikki does -" David huddled the group into group huddle to discuss the plan.

* * *

 **Max**

*Ding Dong*

A door opens to reveal Max with his trademark scowl on his face holding a case of chocolates.

"Hello, ma'am." Max mumbled in a dull voice. " My camp is selling chocolate to raise money or some shit like that."

"Max, language!" David scowled offscreen.

* * *

 **Nerris**

"With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy." Nerris said in a excited tone as spit was flying out of her braces.

* * *

 **Preston**

"Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds." Preston said while doing dramatic poses.

* * *

 **Space Kid**

"So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy? Hello?" Space Kid ask with his back facing the front door and looking next door.

Gwen had to turn Space Kid around so he could face the buyer.

"Oh, thanks Gwen!" Space Kid thanked his camp counselor.

* * *

 **Nurf**

"What do you mean you don't want any chocolate?" Nurf said as he pulled out a knife. "Give me your money!"

"AAAHHHHH!"

The house owner screamed in fright.

David and the campers dogpiled on Nurf as Gwen snatched the knife from Nurf's hand.

"I am so sorry about that, please don't call the cops." David pleaded with the house owner.

* * *

"Nurf your on permeant rabies shot supply and when someone gets sick clean up after them duty." Gwen told him as they entered the bus.

"What if I'm sick?" Nurf questioned.

"Your still cleaning up and you'll clean up after yourself." Gwen said as she went to the front of the bus.

"How much did we sell this time?" Harrison asked.

Gwen pulled out her clipboard and read it out loud. " We sold a total of 25 bars!"

Everyone started cheering, until Gwen continued. "With Nikki selling 20 and Ered, Preston, and Harrison selling one each, and Space Kid selling two. Meaning we sold four and a half boxes."

"Seriously?!" Max shouted as he kicked a box of chocolates.

"At this rate we'll selling these bars til Halloween." Neil said disappointed.

"Or Christmas." Nikki said starry eyed.

" How are we messing this up so badly?" Ered question.

"Yeah, were doing everything the Flower and Woods Scouts do to sell their shitty popcorn and their drug laced cookies?" Max asked.

A light bulb went off in David's head. " Max repeat what you just said word by word." David said.

"Yeah, were doing everything the Flower and Woods Scouts do to sell their shitty popcorn and their drug laced cookies?" Max repeated.

" That's why were not doing so good. We're trying to be like the Flower and Wood Scouts!" David explained.

"David's right this is just like the Camporee." Gwen caught onto what David was saying. "You all have your own niche talents that help us won that we could use them to sell candy bars."

The campers cheered, they were now motivated to sell those candy bars-tomorrow.

* * *

Well the next and last chapter will be up soon. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, bye!


	6. Not a Chapter

Hey just like the Title says this is not a new chapter just an update on the story. Like many writers you have your beginning and ending to your story, it's the middle that you need to address. But, I'm almost done; and I'm trying to finish some other fanfics that I haven't updated since forever. Also, I do have plans for other fanfics for Camp Camp, but I don't know which one to do first.

1\. Will be a reverse Cult Camp episode, but instead of David vs Daniel it'll be Gwen vs Jen

2\. Muack pov story

3\. Will be the last day of Camp Camp

So you the readers get to decide which story will be next with the poll. And thank you for your patients.

P.S. The artwork for WOWN is by me.


	7. Sugar Rush

Finally the last Chapter! HAHAHAHAH! *Clearing throat* Please enjoy the final chap. of 'With or Without Nutz'.

* * *

Sugar Rush

The Camp Camp group got up earlier that morning, after breakfast they got on the bus and headed to Heavy-Eyed Peak. It was so early the sun still hadn't rose yet. David volunteered to drive to the town, but knowing his insomnia Gwen drove the bus with only two cups of the shitty coffee that the camp had and a bar of chocolate to keep her awake.

"Okay campers remember this is just like the camporee." David said to the campers." We all use our unique talents to sell bars."

"Jesus, David!" Max exclaimed. "This is the tenth time you said that since yesterday."

"Eleventh time." Neil corrected Max.

"Here we are." Gwen said as she drove up the town named Heavy-Eyed Peak.

The town was basically the 1920s-50s Hollywood with the limos they passed by, art deco decaying homes, and the houses that had golden gates.

"This place screams Sunset Blvd and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane." Max stated.

"I KNOW! ISN'T IT GREAT?" Preston shouted as he took the sights in around him.

"This looks like a good place to start." David stated as they drove up to a decaying pink mansion, covered in dead plants, and windows boarded up.

"Why do you always pick houses that need a HGTV makeover?" Gwen questioned.

* * *

Gate

David rang the bell on the intercom.

"Please state why you are here so early in the morning." A booming voice from the intercom questioned.

"Hello, we're from Camp Campbell and we're selling chocolates." David answered.

"So, a charity case?" The voice questioned again.

"UH-yes. That's what my boss told me to say if any police officers ask." David answered a little unsure.

"Works for me." The voice agreed.

The rusted gold gate began to open - then it paused due to a malfunction- then it started back up again.

The group walked up to the faded pink mansion as David pulled on the door bell string.

The door opened to reveal a butler with grew hair and a large stomach. "You must be the chocolate sellers, do come in, but wipe your feet."

"Of course sir, come on kids." David said as they all walked in.

"Wow! It's like a fancier version of Campbell's run downned mansion." Nikki said.

"As long as their is no weird old folks having sex, I'll be fine." Max stated as he slightly shivered at the horrid memory on Spooky Island.

The group entered the dining room where three elder women were enjoying their breakfast of croissants, boiled eggs on golden egg cups, thick bacon, and orange juice in champagne glasses.

The first women was very lean wearing a paisley patterned robe with a hair wrap on head, the second was in a wheelchair and wore a white night gown and white robe, the third was a pudgy woman with ringlets in her hair and her nightgown was pink and covered with flower details something a child would wear. The things the woman had in common was they wore caked on makeup and dressed dramatically.

"Oh, Nettie, White, we have company!" The pudgy woman exclaimed as she clapped her hands.

" Baby, must you always be so - pause for dramatic effect-" The thin woman said out loud while doing a dramatic pose. "Dramatic?"

" Look who's calling the kettle black, Nettie." White said to Nettie.

"Oh, now you wanna act like a big sister, White." Baby hissed.

Soon the three women were bickering at each other. This left Camp Camp crew in the room confused excepted Gwen who wassilently cheering for one of them to pull the others wig off of for dentures to be flying everywhere.

"A-HEM!" The butler cleared his throat getting the women's attention. "This group is here for charity work, my ladies."

"Charity work?" White questioned as she rolled her wheelchair up to the group.

"Yes, ma'am." David began with a smile. " My campers and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell, you've probably heard of it. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. So, what flavors would you like and how many candy bars will you buy?"

"HOLY SHIT!" Preston exclaimed.

"Preston, language." David scolded the thespian boy.

"That's replica of the table from 'Dinner at Trixies'." Preston exclaimed.

The table was covered with a grey table cloth with a simple vase holding a wilted rose with the women's breakfast items.

"Are you sure Preston, it looks like any other old table?" Nikki stated.

"Plus you said it was a replica, nothing to lose sleep over." Ered added.

"Looks like any other dining room table." Max added as well.

"Bite your tounges nonbelievers!" Preston hissed at his campmates.

"Why yes it is, excellent eye small boy with poofy sleeves." Nettie said as she applaud.

"How did you obtain it?" Preston asked Nettie.

"My dear boy, I am, was, and will always be the set designer of Dinner at Trixies!" Nettie explained.

"What?" Preston shouted.

"Don't hog all the glory Nettie-" Baby butted in. "I was the makeup and costume designer for the 'Avions'.'"

"And I was the lighting and sound mixer for the stage production of 'An Orange in the Snow'." White said.

"So that means you're all Nettie Diva, White and Baby Famous? I think I'm gonna-" Before Preston could finish he fainted.

Harrison, Neil, Gwen,and Nerris started to help Preston gain consciousness again.

"I can't believe this is happening to me!" Preston instantly woke up. "I'm in the home of famous people. You know I'm a bit of a playwright myself. "

"Really, what plays have you written?" White asked.

"Well I did write Romeo and Juliet: Love Resurrected as my big debut for the world. Until, Max ruined it with a prank, the Flower Scouts kidnapped Nikki, some bodybuilder lady came, and the CIA showed up." Preston recounted the events while glaring at Max.

"Hey, I just messed with David's tinder account and got the FBI to show up, I didn't ask the Flower Scouts to tie Nikki to the rafters."

"Yeah, and I gave them the Juliet costume and they still hung me from the rafters." Nikki said with a furious expression and tone.

"Well, that's just terrible." Baby pitied Preston and Nikki. "I would've loved to see your play."

"Excuse me. Not to interrupt, but are you gonna buy our chocolates?" Gwen butted in.

"GASP!" David gasped out loud. "That's it Gwen, why don't we perform a play so we can sell our chocolates?"

"WHAT!" Gwen questioned.

"David that's the most brilliant theatre thing to come out of your mouth!" Preston shouted.

"But, another dumb idea to come out of his mouth." Max stated.

"Oh, how exciting. We haven't done a show since the 90s." White said. "I'll get the backyard stage ready."

"Backyard stage?" The Camp Ccamp group questioned in unison.

* * *

Backyard

The backyard was littered in statues that were covered in vines, a grand pool that was dried up, and a large open air stage draping in vines.

"THIS IS A STAGE!" Preston exclaimed with stars in his eyes.

"What will our play be about anyway?" Harrison asked bringing up a good point.

"I'm glad you ask: the story will be about a young lad trying to sell his chocolate bars for his local school, and with the support of his parents he overcomes the obstacles and succeeds. It will be a heartwarming story of triumph, family, and the American dream. " Preston described his vision.

"You mean to tell me in two seconds you just came up with that idea?" Neil question skeptical.

"How long does it take you to come up with a math equation, smart guy?" Preston retorted.

"Touché." Neil admitted.

"Okay folks for this to work we need actors, props, this place cleaned up, and an audience." Preston said as he got on top of the stage barking orders.

"I'll call the neighbors. Matthew, call the neighbors." White ordered the butler.

"And bring the props from the attic!" Nettie added.

"Nurf, your on clean up duty. I want this place so clean I can see my reflection in it." Preston ordered.

" Why do I have to clean up? My bedroom is such a much the neighborhood rats won't go near it." Nurf said.

"After, the black eye you gave him last week you'll do it." Gwen barked at Nurf who did as he was told.

"Harrison, Nikki, Neil, you're on lighting, sound, and special effects." Preston commanded.

Harrison and Nikki looked at each other in glee then ran off backstage as White and Neil followed them.

"Now for two adult actors who can act like an old married couple, but who can we find on such short notice? WHO?" Preston questioned dramatically.

"Gwen and David act like they're an old married couple." Max pointed out with a grin on his face.

"What?" David and Gwen said in unison while David had a shock/embarrassed look and Gwen expression was full of fury, but both their faces were pink.

"Of course, you two will do perfectly." Preston said as he clapped his hands together.

"But we don't look like parents." Gwen said as she gestured both herself and David.

"Don't worry, you will." Preston clapped his hands together. "Nerris, Dolph, Ered, you three are on makeup duty."

"WHAT?" Before Gwen could protest Nerris and Ered had grabbed her hands pulling her away.

"Let me go!" Gwen protested as she was being dragged away.

"Like chill, we know what we're doing." Ered said as she pulled Gwen harder.

"Yeah, me and my dad use my mom's make up to cosplay all the time, just don't tell my mom I use her makeup." Nerris said.

"Don't worry, we will make you ze belle of the ball." Dolph said assuring Gwen.

"With the 'you-know-whats' you paint I don't trust you with my make up!" Gwen pointed at Dolph.

"Fine, I will be the color coordinator." Dolph said.

"Don't worry dearie, I have plenty of dresses for you to try on." Baby said as she helped the kids push Gwen inside.

"If Quartermaster doesn't kill us all first, I'll have my revenge on all of you!" Gwen shouted.

"What about my costume?" David asked.

"Don't worry ,hon." White wrapped her arm around David's arm. " I got plenty of all nine of my ex-husbands clothing lying around."

Before David could protest White took him away.

"Wow, I actually feel bad for them." Max laughed. " I feel even sadder for the sap who's gonna play the son."

"Glad you feel that way, Max, BECAUSE IT'S YOU!" Preston shouted into Max's ears.

"What?" Max shouted back.

* * *

The Play

The yard was cleared of any veins or debris, the pool was filled with sparkling water, and the stage; had brand new red velvet curtains, the wood was waxed giving a new look and scent, and the props neatly placed. The neighbors appeared in the seats provided to them all were in their 60s-100s, wearing formal wear despite the heat, and the play was ready.

Preston appeared at the center of the stage as a light shined down on him. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen you are the first to witness the play 'Candy Bar', **ENJOY THE SHOW!** "

The audience clapped as the curtains opened to reveal a living room setting.

"Once upon a time there was a father-" Preston began.

David came out onstage as a light shined down on him wearing a dark green shirt that was covered up by a 1980s neon green yuppie suit, yellow tie, and stylish dark brown shoes. His hair was greased back even his little tuff of hair was stylized.

"My knees feel weird." David commented as he felt uncomforted in his pants.

"A mother-" Preston continued.

Gwen came out as a light shined down on her wearing dark brown heels, a lilac pearl necklace, earrings, and opera gloves her hair in a rockabilly fashion as her bangs remained , a plain pale green long sleeved dress, and a purple apron with white polka dots.

"That acting class I took first year of college don't fail me now." Gwen said silently to herself.

"And a son!" Max came out as a light shined down on him wearing a blue and yellow plaid shirt over his yellow camp shirt, his regular pants and shoes, a green baseball hat that barely fit his head, and one of the chocolate cases.

"I know this is revenge for that stupid play." Max stated with a scowl.

" The young boy was selling chocolate bars for his schools theatre class!" Preston announced.

"I'm selling chocolates for my school's dumb theater." Max repeated not giving a shit.

"IT'S **THEATRE!** " Preston shouted at Max.

"Why son, that is swell!" David said excited as he put a hand around Gwen's shoulder.

" It's good to know that our boy is supporting his school's theatre program." Gwen said in a motherly tone as she laid her hand on David's heart. "I'm so proud of you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just buy the shitty chocolate so we can end this play." Max said going off script.

"Max, lan-" David then caught himself breaking character. "Son, language!"

"And of course we'll buy some chocolates from you." Gwen said continuing the motherly yet annoyed tone. "What flavors do you have?"

"Chocolate." Max bluntly said.

"Chocolate bars of all the flavors fell from the Heavens!" Preston shouted.

"WHAT!" Max exclaimed as Nikki, Harrison, and Nerris dropped chocolate bars on Max's head.

"OW!" Max exclaimed as the eight flavors of chocolate fell on his head.

"Then all the chocolates fell on him crushing his SKULL!" Preston shouted.

"WHAT!" Max exclaimed as Nikki, Harrison, and Nerris were emptying boxes of chocolate bars on Max.

"OW,OW,OW!" Max shouted as each bar hit him on the head until he was covered in them.

"Max-I mean son, don't worry I'll help you!" David said as he rushed over to Max and dug him out of the candy bar pile.

"What the hell was that Pre-"

"Sadly, the boy survived." Preston cut Max off. "As an even bigger pile came at him."

"WHAT!" Max and David exclaimed as a giant box of chocolates missed them by at least two inches.

"Nurf, stop that right now!" David commanded as he pointed at Nurf.

"What? It's in the script." Nurf said holding the script.

"Okay, I'm putting my foot down." Gwen said. " I was fine with Max getting smacked in the head, but I'm not going that far that I have to do paperwork for a dead camper."

" Wait, did someone die at the camp?" Nikki asked as the others only shrugged.

"But, we haven't done the scene where everyone boos at him and throws rotten candy bars at him." Preston said pointing at Max.

"Now I know this is revenge for that dumb play." Max said pointing at Preston.

"It wasn't dumb it was magical, original, and everybody loved it!" Preston shouted.

"No, not really. I was in it and I Hated it. I don't even know how I got the part." Nikki said.

"Mixing of too many genres ruins the story line for me." Nerris admitted.

" Tabii scares me." Neil commented.

"NNNOO!" Preston cried out as he fell to his knees. "Now I know how Andrew Llyod Webber felt when Starlight Express bombed."

(The getting rid of songs and characters, and Las Vegas costumes made it worse.)

*COUGH*

A cough reminded the group that they were still on stage with many people watching them.

"And proceeds for buying our chocolates will go to the camp's indoor plumbing and theatre program." Gwen said.

Nettie, White (not her),Baby, and Matthew got up from their seats and started to clap for the group. Soon, everyone got up and started to clap.

"They love it, they love my play!" Preston beamed in delight as rose covered the stage.

Later

At the back of the camp bus the campers were selling candy bars to the remaining rich neighbors.

"Thank you for coming." Nerris said as another rich elder paid for a chocolate bar.

"Well, that's everyone." Neil said as he saw every last neighbor left the backyard.

"Holy shit we just made $42.00." Gwen said as she counted the money.

"And that means we just sold ten and a half boxes." David said. "We can't thank you three enough for helping us."

" Actually, we want to thank Preston." Baby said gesturing to Preston.

"He helped us spark our love of the theatre again." White added.

"And we can't wait to see your next play." Nettie said.

"Thank you, I'll never forget any of you." Preston said as tears ran down his eyes. " **Because I ain't leaving**!"

"What?" Everyone questioned shocked.

"I call dibs on his tent." Max commented as he raised his hand.

"Don't you all see this is where I belong. The art, the culture, the theatre! Camp Campbell was a prison just like in Les Mis, this is where I belong-hey!" Before Preston knew it he was dragged onto the bus and they drove away.

The bus pulled out of the driveway as the three divas and butler waved goodbye.

"I'm gonna miss that lad." Baby said.

"But it was time for them to go." White said.

"And perfect timing to that funeral man should be here to bury the monkey" Nettie added.

* * *

Sluggish Peak was the neighbor of Heavy-eyed Peak. The town was more heavily influenced by the 1980s-now (Jasper would love this place if he wasn't stuck on Spooky Island). With neon colored buildings, stores selling 90s theme clothes, and coffee shops offering monster milkshakes and green tea flavored coffee.

"I can't believe you all dragged me back here. I COULD'VE BEEN A STAR!" Preston pouted as he crossed his arms.

"But Preston, camp wouldn't be the same without you, _plus after losing Jermy we can't afford to lose anymore campers."_ David said the latter under his breathe.

The bus entered one of the many neighborhoods in the town that had modern style houses from the 60's to now.

"Alright, you all know what to do use your niche talents and don't terrorize these people." Gwen said handing out boxes of chocolates to the campers. "Nurf, Dolph, you guys are on stock duty."

"But why?" Nurf questioned.

"You bastards know what you did!" Max shouted.

"What did we do?" Dolph questioned as Nurf just shrugged.

* * *

 ***DING-DONG***

A door opened up as the owner looked down to see-

 **Nerris**

"Fair Lady of the house my kingdom needs you to buy our chocolates ." Nerris announced wielding a sword made out of paper towel rolls, paint, and glitter.

 **Neil**

"I need you to buy some candy bars for our camp we have :no indoor plumbing, no air conditioning, some no name toilet paper brand,no Wi-Fi-" Neil ranted.

 **Ered**

"The only thing cool about this place is that we set things on fire, mess with some old groundskeeper who is crazy creepy, and the halfpipe."

 **Preston**

"The camp a desert, the campers annoying, the theatre department- lacking a muse." Preston said doing dramatic poses.

 **Space Kid**

"If it weren't for this camp I wouldn't have gone to space or met my best friends: Max, Nikki, Muack the platypus, and Neil." Space Kid stated honestly.

 **Harrison**

"With you buying each candy bar, I'll be able to improve my magic skills." Harrison demonstrated as he made five flavors of chocolate bars float above his head in a circular motion, until they fell onto his head. "OW!"

 **Neil**

"And it'll turn into a future Walmart parking lot anyway, but still we need your money, also dark chocolate will help you live longer." Neil bribed the customer.

 **Nikki**

"The Flower Scouts ran me out of their camp last Summer which traumatized me and they hung me upside down by the rafters, and trust me you do not want to know their views on Mexico." Nikki stated remember both traumatizing experiences.

 **Preston**

"But you the hero of this tale can save us. You'll get a standing ovation! " Preston gestured to the customer.

 **Max**

"The camp's a scam run by a wanted conman who is on the top of the FBI list next to Jack the Ripper. Where I'm tortured by a living ray of sunshine in a humanoid body and a postgrad who can't get a real job-AAH!." Max screamed in pain as box of chocolates hit Max in the back of the head sending him to the floor.

"I heard that, you little shit!" Gwen shouted off-screen.

 **Harrison**

"These chocolate bars are enchantingly tasty!" Harrison said as pulled a rabbit out of his hat that was holding a chocolate bar.

(Don't tell the cereal people they might sue me!)

 **Space Kid**

"Also, I get tons of rabies shots daily: David said if I get one more I break the camp record." Space Kid bragged. "Also, I'll have to go to a special hospital since we ran out rabies shots last week. "

 **Ered**

"In layman's term the camp sucks. " Ered bluntly said.

 **Max**

"Look just buy the shitty candy bars so we can get some decant indoor plumbing." Max spatted as he had his hands out ready for cash.

 **Nerris**

"And as future Elfin Queen I will reward you with my gratitude and a mutant demon guard dog to hunt down your enemies." Nerris added.

 **Nikki**

"And remember do not sign your daughter up for Flower Scouts especially troop 789. So how many bars do you want?" Nikki added as she batted her eyelashes.

Nikki: 30 bars

Space Kid and Harrison: 12 bars

Max, Neil, Nerris, Preston, and Ered : 5 bars (each sold one).

"Well, this is way better than when we started." Gwen said as she counted the money.

"But it's still not enough, just going door to door isn't doing it." David said.

"Hey isn't that the fitness guy that wouldn't buy our candy bars?" Space kid said pointing to the fit man in green jogging suit, but was wearing a trench coat and fedora over his head.

"Yeah, that is him, but what is he doing?" Nikki questioned as she tilted her head to the right.

A cheerful teenage girl in a orange fast food worker uniform holding a greasy bag of fast food.

"You got my stuff." The fit man asked in a gruff voice.

"Yes, that'll be 18.99." The worker said as she held out her hand for cash.

"Fine!" The man said as he pulled out a $20 to the worker and snatched his meal out of her hand and walked away.

"Have a nice day!" As soon as he was out of sight see dropped the façade and glared at him. "God, I hate this job!"

"Wow Gwen, I didn't know you could be at two places at once." Max remarked earning a smack on the back of his head.

"Next time I won't hit your soft spot!" Gwen growled at Max.

"Wait there he goes." Nikki gestured as the fit man went into a dark alley way.

Alley Way

The fit man pulled a deluxe burger stuffed with: three patties, fries, onion rings, chicken tenders, cheese sticks, and cheese. As he clutched the greasy burger ready to take his first bite a light shine on his face.

"Gotcha." A voice said as he turned around to see the Camp Camp crew.

"What do you calorie creeps want?" The fit man hissed.

"We want you to buy our chocolate bars, for crying out loud you're about to eat a burger with enough grease to kill a hippo and it's as big as your head." Max stated.

" So? I just don't care chocolate or sweets." The fit man just shrugged.

"That is a valid point." Neil admitted.

"Shut up, Neil." Harrison spatted.

"Look let's negotiate here." Gwen stepped between the two groups. " Seeing as how you're willing to go into an alley way where you can get stab just to eat that shit between two buns there must be others like you who actually love chocolate. Just give us their addresses so we can sell our candy bars and we'll be out of your hair."

"And if I don't." The fit man foolishly said.

"Then we'll upload this image of you eating a monster burger to every social media site." Max said as he pulled out a phone of him about to eat said burger.

"Max that's my phone!" David whined.

"Shut up, David!" Max hissed. "And for being a jerkass you gotta buy six cases and you have to give use a list of others like you."

"Fine." The fit man said as he pulled out his wallet and a notepad writing down names and addresses. "Just don't tell anyone at the gym I ratted them out, I gotta rep to protect"

"A deals a deal." Gwen said as she took the money and note.

"Hey fit-jerk-guy can I have your cases?" Nikki asked holding six cases of chocolate.

"Fine! Whatever! Just let me eat my burger in peace!" The fit man shouted and started to dig into his burger.

The group left disgusted by the man's eating habits.

"Jeez, that wolf that almost ate David, the platypus, and Nikki have better table manners." Neil commented.

"Forget Sweeney Todd, that's gonna scar me for life." Preston said hugging himself.

"Anyway we got some houses to hit." Nikki said.

Montage of the campers go to house and secretly selling chocolate.

(Use your imagination for this part.)

"Thank you both again, for buying our-HMPH!" David was cutoff by hands covering his mouth belong to a couple in matching sweats.

"Keep it down, if the Jefferson's from next door hear that we're cheating on our diets we'll never hear the end of it." The wife whispered.

"Yeah, they think their so superior to everyone in the neighborhood just because they have a jacuzzi tub with three bubble features." The husband added.

"Okay?" David said as he walked back to the group. "Guys, I still feel horrible for blackmailing these people."

"You'll get over it." Max commented without missing a beat.

"Okay after selling ten cases to the people on the list we now have -" Gwen said calculating the numbers- "Thirty cases!"

"Which mean we only have a few more to go, then I get my new science camp equipment." Neil squealed.

"Everyone check this out." David ushered everyone to his cell phone.

"The annual locust migration has finally ended in Lazy Peak. Lucky not that much damage has been done, but the locust did go into the mayor's secret chocolate stash and to whoever gets her favorite brand will win a huge - and I mean huge- cash reward. If anyone has any chocolate the mayor is willing to buy some." The announcer said.

Gwen and David gave each other a knowing look.

"You thinkin' what I', thinkin'?" Gwen asked her co-counselor.

"That what we just heard was oddly specific and related to our main goal?" David answered.

"Okay, that is true." Gwen admitted. "But we're heading back to Lazy Peak."

 **Lazy Peak**

Despite the locust attack on the town it still looked way better than Sleepy Peak. The building's paint jobs were chipped, plants had locust bite marks on them, and roads had cracks and potholes everywhere.

"WOW! Who knew a buncha stupid bugs can do so much damage." Ered remarked as the campers saw the result of the locust season.

"Here we are city hal- OH NO!" David yelped.

In front of city hall was a large line of people holding: heart shaped boxes full of chocolates, chocolate bunnies wrapped in foil, and anything else chocolate could be formed, shaped, and stored.

"Guess we weren't the only ones who got the news." David pointed.

"Well we better get in this long ass line before it gets longer." Max spatted.

"Actually, that's the line to get into the line." A woman stated to the Camp Camp crew.

"There's a line for the line?" Gwen shuddered has her anxiety began to rise.

"Yep, and after this line there's the line to into the building, the line outside the mayor's door, and if she doesn't like your chocolates there's a line for the leaving the office." The woman inform the group.

"And how do you know that?" David asked.

"Because I just got out of the line to leave the office." The woman said bluntly. "I just spent $50 on some dark chocolate truffles stuffed with roasted almonds, dusted with cocoa powder, and sea salt for almost nothin'."

"Almost nothing'?" David repeated.

"I'm gonna eat this." She then plucked a truffle into her mouth moaning as she savored the candy. "Oh this is good."

"Anyway, Good luck." The woman said about to walk off until she scanned the campers. "Your kids may wanna wear diapers, because you're gonna be here for a long time."

"Oh no, my anxiety is back." Gwen stated as she hugged herself while shivering.

"How long is this line anyway?" Nikki said.

"By my calculations it's about 72 hours and 19 minutes." Neil answered in an annoyed tone.

"We're doomed." Harrison spoke up.

"We'll be trapped here forever!" Nerris exaggerated as she fell to her knees.

"There must be a way to get to the front of the line." David said as he scratched his chin.

"I have a few suggestions." Max spoke up as everyone turned to him.

"You do? Well go on Max, tell us." David gushed.

"Not so fast camp man, in return for my services I want something in return." Max answered.

"What do you want this time?" Gwen hissed.

"My demands are simple: no camp activities especially sensitivity-training camp for a week, double desserts, David's phone, and I get to watch all your rated -M movies, Gwen." Max responded.

" You can have the first two, use David's phone for one-hour a day **only** for video games, and you get to pick three DVDs that are rated PG to PG-13 from the movie store with David's money. " Gwen negotiated.

"Why are you guys always dipping into my bank account?" David whined.

(Seriously, does he even get paid at all?)

"Shut up, David. And no deal!" Max shouted.

"Do you really want to wait in this line in this heat with all these people, Max?" Gwen questioned.

Max looked back at the line with all those people standing and he pulled on his hoodie as sweat made it stick to his skin.

"And as an added bonus you'll get bathroom privileges to cut in front of the line no matter what." Gwen added as she extended her hand.

"Deal!" Max shook her hand then turned to David and Nikki. "David, Nikki, you two know every animal call on this planet go to the park or something and collect every animal you can find."

David and Nikki squealed as they ran off to the nearest park.

"Gwen, I need you to get some shaving cream, whipped cream, baby powder, and a permeant red marker. " Max instructed.

"Okay?" Gwen said as she left to a near by grocery store.

"So you gonna inform us on your ingenious plan or what?" Neil questioned.

"All good things come in time, Neil." Max simply answered.

Ten Minutes Later

Everyone in line was sweating bullets as the sun beamed down on their heads and melting their chocolates-until.

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Everyone turned to see a tall and lanky boy run for his life.

"Help, oh, help!" Neil cried out. "My fellow campers got the **rabies!** "

Everyone gasped in fear.

"Neil!" Preston came crawling on his knees as he crawled up to Neil . "They bit me, I'm not going to make it! **TELL GRAM-GRAM I LOVE HER!** "

Preston than raised his head to reveal it was pale, covered in red polka dots, and foam coming out of his mouth.

"Oh no! There is more and the animals that gave them the rabies!" Neil pointed into the horizon.

Soon, even more pale red polka dot faced kids with foam coming out of the mouth appeared moaning and groaning as they limped forward. Then, raccoons, squirrels, possums, dogs, cats, and Muack with red polka dots and foam in their mouths came forward.

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Everyone screamed running in every direction in a state of panic until it was empty and voided of life.

"We did it!" Preston shouted in amazement as the others joined him.

(How many B-zombie-movies did they watch to be that believable?)

"Gotta hand it to you, Max, your plan worked." Gwen admitted.

"Whatever." Max scoffed.

"Okay gang, to the mayor's office!" David exclaimed.

Mayor's Office

The room was lavishly furnished with mahogany desk, a large chandelier, silk curtains, and porcelain flooring.

"Pfft. Rich government people. Don't have enough in the budget to house the homeless or make parks, but have enough for luxury gold toilets." Max stated.

"I heard that young man." The large desk chair swirled around to reveal a woman around Neil's height. "Beside this is from the last mayor who blow our budget: why do you think we have so many sales around?"

"Then, why are you having some money contest for chocolates than?" Max questioned.

"As a mayor this job is very-very-very stressful, besides the money would go to the winners to repair their home, business, or whatever shit they want to waste it on." The Mayor answered.

"Fair enough." Max admitted.

"So where's your 'special' chocolate that's gonna win me over?" The Mayor sarcastically asked.

"Well Madam Mayor, we came all the way from Sleepy Peak-"

"Sleepy Peak? Didn't that placed get a drug overdose from Flower Scout cookies or Wood Scout popcorn?" The Mayor interrupted.

"Yes, but we're not associated with them we're Camp Campbell Summer Camp." David explained.

"Never heard of you." The Mayor bluntly said.

"We're located at Lake Lilac between the Flower and Wood Scout camps, been open since the 1970s, and our motto is 'campe diem' which is trademarked."

The Mayor just shook her head still not knowing who they were.

"We won the Annual Lake Lilac Camporee; just look it up on the web." Gwen insisted.

The Mayor pulled out her tablet which had a dead locust on it and looked it up to see one result of an article titled (Camp Campbell beats Flower and Wood Scouts) and a picture of the group looking miserable.

"You guys look like your more in jail then at a Summer camp." She commented. "But go ahead show me what'cha got."

"Well we got : traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds. " David stated.

"Peanut butter." The Mayor bluntly said.

David handed her the peanut butter chocolate bar.

The Mayor unwrapped it and took a nibble out of the chocolate bar and swished it around her mouth like a wine judge tester... Until, she bite down on the whole bar candy bar like a beaver.

" MORE. GOOD. MORE!" She screamed scaring the Camp Camp crew.

"What is with everybody's table manners?" Preston shouted in disgust.

"I mean, congratulations you've won." The Mayor snapped her fingers and a butler handed David a leather case full of cash. "How much for ten cases of your peanut butter bars?"

"We'll discuss our pricing, but first these kids need to wash up." Gwen instated as she pointed to the campers.

"Down the hall second door on the right." The Mayor pointed.

"I can't believe it we won in both the money and selling." David said as he held the case.

"Ugh, guys. This stuff won't like come off." Ered said as the other campers still had red marker polka dots on them.

"How is that possible? Just use soap and water and wash your- Wait a second!" Gwen stopped midway.

Gwen turned to Max who was sporting an all knowing smirk holding said permeant red marker.

"YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Gwen roared ready to attack him.

"Ugh, Gwen." Space grabbing Gwen's sock stopping her, as he lifted his arm revealing Revenge Squrriel. "The squirrel bit me and I think it has rabies."

Revenge Squrriel jumped to an opened window and squeaked at the Camp Camp crew than jumped out.

*I have taken down your weakest member. Soon, I'll kill you all and avenge my King!*

"Well gang, to the hospital." David said.

Bus

"Fifty down and fifty more to go." Gwen said reading her list.

"Now back to Drowsy Peak!" David said as he drove up to the town.

Montage

The Camp Campbell campers going door to door with their antics that made customers buy the bars out of honest or to get them off their lawns.

Max would talk about his political views, society, and how horrible the camp was. Neil would exchange his service to fix television sets and set up Wi-Fi for buying candy bars. Nikki would summon the neighborhood dogs to poop on the owner's lawn. Space Kid wouldn't shut up about space. Harrison performed tricks. Nerris throw twenty-sided dice at the owners. Ered would skateboard across the lawns leaving marks. Preston sand show tunes he made up himself.

"Sixty-nine! We sold Sixty-nine cases!" Gwen whooped.

"But where are we going to sell the others?" Preston asked.

"I have an idea." David said.

Sleepy Peak

The town wasn't as hectic as it was when they were first selling chocolates, but people still looked out of it from the cookie overdosed.

"Excuse me, good people of Sleepy Peak!" David announced getting the attention of twelve people. " My campers and I are selling chocolate to raise money for our camp, Camp Campbell. With each chocolate bar you buy your money will go to repairs and equipment for our campers to enjoy. Our flavors include: traditional milk, white, dark, peanut butter, caramel, crispy, mint, and almonds.

"Are you drugged from the Flower Scouts cookies?" Someone said.

"We ain't buying anything anymore from kids!" Another shouted.

Soon everyone was shouting.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Everyone turned to Max.

"Max, language!" David scowled.

"We're not with those losers: the Wood Scouts kidnap campers and gang press them into joining them and the Flower Scouts are a bunch of old fashioned jerks who runoff anyone who doesn't fit their norms." Max said. " And then there's us."

This gained the crowds attention as Max continued. "Unlike the Wood and Flower Scouts we don't go banging at your doors at 2 A.M., some lame gimmick, or some fad that'll go out of style in two minutes."

"The camp has low income we literally almost had to use the toothbrushes we cleaned the floor for our teeth if I didn't find and spares. And me and David have to endure watching these little shits: seriously look at us we're underpaid and over-stress and look at them do you want them running mad into town? " Gwen gestured to the campers as they were doing their usual antics.

"Oh this poor underpaid camp." Some old woman said as she reached into her purse. " I'll buy a candy bar."

"Yeah, me too." A man said pulling out a couple of dollars. "Anything to spite the Flower and Wood Scouts."

The crowd bought as many chocolate bars as they could, but it still wasn't enough.

* * *

Back at Camp Camp

Despite their recent performance the Camp Camp was still stuck with forty boxes of chocolate with different flavored cases in them.

"So, what now?" Gwen questioned.

"I don't know we sold as much as we could to the other towns and Sleepy Peak." David added.

"And I got my parents in a chocolate war, I don't think they can buy anymore." Neil also added.

"We could-"

"No Nurf, you ain't threatin' nobody." Max spatted.

"We're gonna need a miracle to sell the rest." Nerris said.

Suddenly, a brown car drove up to the camp site revealing the mad woman from Drowse Peak.

"YOU!" She pointed angrily at the Camp Camp crew. "I've looked high and low for you."

"Please ma'am don't hurt us we were just selling chocolates." David said as he and Gwen shield the children the woman.

"Oh, really?" The woman reached into her back pocket pulling out some kind of weapon.

Everyone flinched expecting the end.

"I'll take some chocolate bars, please." The woman revealing the weapon was really her wallet.

"What the fuck?" Max shouted.

"I said, I would like to buy your chocolates." The woman answered.

"Then what was with that crazy 'CHOCOLATE!' screaming then?" Nikki questioned.

"I have OCD. Obsessive. Chocolate. Disorder." The woman answered.

"Don't make fun of people's disorders." Max hissed at the woman.

"Well we do have forty boxes of chocolate in the -"

"I'll take them!" The woman said shoving a wad of cash at David.

Her car was stuffed and strapped with boxes of chocolate as she drove off.

"Man we could've avoided everything if we just sold her out chocolate bars." Space Kid lampshaded what had just occurred.

A taxi car drove up dropping off a tanned Quartermaster.

"Quartermaster!" David exclaimed greeting the groundkeeper. "Where have you been this whole time?"

"Cabo." Quartermaster bluntly said as he walked towards the Mess Hall. "They have nice beaches."

"What a weirdo." Ered hissed.

* * *

The Next Day

Everyone was in the Mess Hall eating their breakfast of mash potatoes as David gave an announcement.

"Kids I can't tell how proud I'am of you for this year's chocolate sells. In fact we beat the camp's record!" David exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, just tell me how mush of a raise I'm getting." Gwen said.

"And my science equipment." Neil added.

"And my magic equipment." Harrison added.

"And my adventure equipment." Nikki added.

Sone everyone was asking about equipments for their camps, except Max who was flinging his mash potatoes at the window.

"Actually, guys I have some teeny-tiny bad news." David said as his voice squeaked and he twiddled his fingers.

"What bad news?" Gwen gritted through her teeth.

"You see the camp's plumbing hasn't been updated since the 70s when this camp opened so that took a huge chunk of our candy bar money. It was so bad the plumber told me that if we got the stomach flu or something our subpar plumbing would backup and explode allover Lake Lilac."

(Thank goodness this took place before Night of the Living Ill)

"GROSS!" Max stated as he stuck out his tounge in disgust.

"Wait! The cash prize from Lazy Peak where's that?" Gwen questioned as she grabbed onto David's bandana.

"Well, we needed to restock of rabies medicine since we ran out last week, pay the bus repair bill, the doctors to remove Space Kid's rabies and to remove the permanent marker marks, we needed to pay back Sal after the bus crash incident, and for repairs for the Flower Scout's roof. " David admitted.

Gwen then glared (since most of the payment was their fault) at the trio as they actually jumped in fear.

"So you mean there's no money left?" Gwen gritted her teeth.

"Well we did have a tiny-itty-bitty money left for each camp." David answered.

"I knew you wouldn't let me down (again). Now hand over my new science camp lab." Neil said as David handed him a telescope.

"Telescope? What the fuck, David?" Neil said shaking the telescope around.

"Sorry Neil, but after paying those bills we had a limited budget for each camp." David explained, but I got you all something to enjoy.

David handed Ered a pack of wheels for her skateboard, Nikki a bag of marbles with a slingshot, Dolph a box of chalk, Nerris a pack of monster cards, Harrison a magic kit set, Nurf a book titled 'How to Stop Being a Bully for Losers', Preston a book of monologues for preteens, and Max those stress ball thingys.

"Oh and Neil, you and Space Kid are gonna have to share the telescope." David said.

"Can I hold the telescope Neil?" Space Kid asked holding out his hands.

"Knock yourself out." Neil said as he tossed the telescope and hit Space Kid's helmet.

"Wait, what about the counselors' bonus?" Gwen questioned.

"Don't worry Gwen here's our bonus." David said sheepishly handing Gwen $5. "It was all that was left over."

Gwen just crumbled the $5 bill into her pocket.

"Can't we just sell more chocolate bars or something?" Neil question.

"Yeah, had we'd know that chocoholic was willing to buy all of our chocolates we could had this thing over with." Max inputted.

"Sorry gang selling season is over. Besides during this time the chocolate company is in the process of making Chocolates for Halloween and Christmas. But, I hope you all learned something from this." David said.

"Hard work sucks and accomplishes nothing." Nikki answered cheerfully.

"What, no, that's not the moral of this story." David panicked.

"Seems like that way." Gwen added.

"No guys , we did work hard and accomplish our goals. It's just with the Flower Scouts drugging everyone in town and the Wood Scouts sabotaging our bus and destroying property."

"Don't forget Campbell." Max added.

"I'm sure didn't mean it. Besides the trouble wasn't us it was a series of things out of our control." David said.

"So the moral is that you have to work hard to accomplish our goals and when it still fails blame the idiots who screw it up?" Max questioned.

"Will it restore your faith in hark work?" David counter questioned.

"More or less." Max admitted.

"Then, yes!" David said excitedly.

"Yeah, if it weren't for them we wouldn't be in this-" Gwen stopped midway as an idea hatched."Hey David since you worked so hard why don't I handle sensitivity training for today. I mean you kept us up while we were rock bottom."

"Well gee co-counselor that'll be swell, that gives me enough time to plan next weeks activities." David said as he walked into the counselors cabin.

"Listen up you little shits we're doing revenge camp the reason we're in this mess is because of those shitty Wood and Flower Scouts. Take an hour break then we'll plot our revenge." Gwen said as she went into the counselor cabin.

Everyone went their separate was disappointed that their hard work amounted to nothing; except Max who was grinning as he toss the stress ball away.

'Why are you so happy, Max?" Neil questioned his friend. "Aren't you disappointed like the rest of us about this?"

"What is this your first day of camp, Neil?" Max spat. " I hate this place; the activities are lame, the food here sucks, and the people here are annoying. And if you really been paying attention all I've ever wanted was decant plumbing and the showers to actually work. "

* * *

Flashbacks:

#1

"Okay campers time for the wheel of chores!" David exclaimed as the campers and Gwen groaned.

David pulled out a huge wheel with everyone's name on it with chores that listed: raking leaves, moping, laundry, gathering firewood, cutting firewood, helping Quartermaster peel potatoes, wiping tables, cleaning glass, cleaning the toilets, and etc and whosever name landed on the chore had to do it.

"Here,we,go!" David said as he gave the wheel a big spin.

Everyone had their fingers crossed and prayed, hoping they wouldn't get a disgusting chore as the wheel slowly began to stop.

"Nikki, you got cutting firewood." Gwen said reading the wheel.

"YES!" Nikki exclaimed as she punched the air. "Let me at those axes!"

"Preston, you got sweeping." Gwen read the wheel.

" I'll sing ' In My Own Little Corner' from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella as I do this chore." Preston said as he started to sing the show-tune.

(The Brandy version is the best version)

"Ered you got bathing the platypus." Gwen read the wheel.

Ered eyes popped out in surprise. " You want me, to bathe _that?_ " Ered questioned while pointing at Muack.

Muack hissed at Ered and jumped on her hind feet and started to kick and scratch the air.

"Max you got toilet cleaning duty." Gwen read the wheel.

"What?" Max shouted.

An Hour Later

Max came out of the bathrooms with a hairnet on his head, a pink apron covered with dirty, yellow kitchen gloves, a laundry pin pinching his nose, and a bucket filled with cleaning supplies and a toilet plunger. His hair was a mess, bags under his eyes, and he was slouching over tired.

"That's it next chore I'm giving Muack a bath." Max said as he pulled the gloves off his hands and threw them to the ground.

*AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Ered came running past Max screaming with her clothes wet, bubbles and suds in her hair, and an angry Muack chasing after her.

"Muack, muack, muack!" Muack quacked angerly after Ered.

"Definitely giving Muack a bath next time." Max said nonchalantly.

#2

"I'm gonna go sit in the showers for a while." Max told Neil as he left his barely touched breakfast for later.

In the Showers

Max covered himself in a blue bathrobe holding the Camp Camp's white towels as he turned the hot water handle on, only for nothing to happen. Max turned it again only for it to snap off. Max held the handle in his hands in anger unaware of the water building up in the shower head.

"Are you fucking kidding-AHH!" Before, Max could finish his rant as cold water knocked him to the ground until it went back to its normal (subpar) water pressure.

"Me." Max finished as he held his aching head and barfed up some cards and a dove that flew out the showers. "Seriously!"

#3

Nerris came out of the girls bathroom skipping past the boys who were waiting in line. Harrison was first in line playing with his cards while he waited, Space Kid was second doing the infamous potty dance, Max was third tapping his foot impatiently, and Neil was last with his knees buckled trying not to wet himself.

"Aw man, is this how girls feel when they wait in line to use the bathroom?" Neil questioned.

(Suck it up Neil! Now you know how us ladies feel when we need to go, but there's a line.)

" I'm done!" Jermy announced as he walked out of the bathroom. "You might want to crack a window."

An awful scent came from the boys side of the bathroom as Harrison covered his nose and ran away, Space Kid fainted from the scent, while Max and Neil were left with disgust/shocked facial expressions.

#4

" I can't believe you three." David began to scorn Max, Neil, and Nikki. " Trying to make Space Kid hate space for your own selfish reason."

"Especially with the shit you three do, that's very hypocritical." Gwen added.

(Let's not lie, that was the cruelest thing those three ever did to Space Kid.)

"As punishment you three are on toilet and shower cleaning duty for two weeks." David declared the punishment as he crossed his arms.

"What that's so unfair." Nikki whined.

" Yeah Nurf bullies everyone and he never gets punished." Neil agreed.

"Oh yes he does." Gwen stated.

* * *

Flashback within a flashback

"Of all the lousy things you've ever done this is one of your lowest, Nurf!" Gwen scolded Nurf who flinched.

"Gwen's right domestic abuse is a very serious crime, young man." David equally scolded Nurf. "As punishment harming Preston and all the other acts of bullying you've done you are on permeant bathroom duty, litter clean up, clean the Quartermaster's hooks duty until Summer is over."

"And we'll have a very serious talk about your actions." Gwen added.

Gwen and David walked towards Preston who was wrapped in a blanket shaking in fear.

"Come on Preston let's get you some ice for your eye." David said as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you." Preston gasped in a hoarse voice as David and Gwen took him to the Mess Hall for first aid.

"I need these hooks cleaned for tonight!" Quartermaster shouted at Nurf as he shoved a box full hooks at him and walked away.

"How many hooks does this werido have-" Nurf paused as he pulled out a hook that was actually a did-whatever the heck those things are.

*Horror movie screams*

Nurf's screams were heard throughout Lake Lilac, as he cleaned all of Quartermaster's hooks for his night on Spooky Island.

(Not to break the story or anything but this needs to be said: I did not find what Nurf did to Preston funny at all! To tell you do truth Nurf (and Dolph, Quartermaster, Campbell, the Flower Scouts, The Wood Scouts, and etc) creep me out! Harming someone mental and/or physically is not love. I don't know any of you who are reading this fanfic but please call the police if this is happening to you or someone else. Thank you!)

End flashback in a flashback

* * *

"Can't we be on permeant bathe the platypus duty instead?" Max questioned raising his hand.

"No!" Gwen answered with a huge Cheshire grin on her face as she handed the three their hairnets, kitchen gloves, aprons, and buckets with cleaning supplies and toilet plungers.

"We better check up on Space Kid and send his parents that video." David said as he and Gwen walked away.

"You think if we apologize to Space Kid now, we'll get a lighter sentence?" Neil asked.

"Out of the way I ate too much cheese!" Nurf said running past the trio with a newspaper in hand to use the bathroom.

"Well, that sucks for you two. There's only four girls her, five if you count Muack so I'll be done in an hour. Bye!" Nikki pointed out as she walked into the girls bathroom/shower room.

*Toilet flush noises*

"Phew, you two may want to light a candle." Nurf said as he walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to both of his feet.

This left Neil and Max with disgust/shocked facial expressions.

" We're past the point of no return." Max blurted out.

End Flashbacks

"Oh yeah, that's true." Nikki admitted.

"So we got an hour break, what do you guys wanna do?" Max said.

"Well I think I can fix the doughnut and ice cream machine we stole from the Flower Scouts up for one batch." Neil said.

"YAY!" Nikki and Max cheered for both ice cream and doughnuts and the revenge they would seek on their rival camps.

* * *

Flower Scouts Camp

(Sasha, Erin, and Tabii's cabin)

The girls opened their cabin door then slammed it shut as they leaned against it. All three girls looked like a hot mess with: Their nail polishes chipped, hair a mess, skirts and sashes torn, and shoes caked with mud.

"Girls, after having to return all our cookie sales money, pick up litter, do 20 weight lifts, 30 jumping jacks, a 5k run, 90 push-ups, write apology letters to the people of Sleepy Peak, the people who make the Flower Scout cookies, and all the members of the Flower Scouts in Mexico- I really regret talking shit about Cabo and Mexico right now." Sasha admitted through her pants.

"Plus those guys we took down were super hot." Erin added as she huffed for oxygen.

" I really want to go on a beach vacation now." Tabii moaned.

(Serves you right for talking smack about Mexico.)

The three Flower Scouts dragged their feet to their canopy beds and passed out on them. Suddenly, a bad scent filled the air.

"Gross, what is that smell?" Tabii said as she pinched her nose.

"Oh no, is our perfume going bad." Erin questioned.

"No, it smells like the Wood Scouts shitty popcorn only burnt." Sasha remarked as she started to spray floral air freshener in the cabin.

*AAAHHH*

The three shot up from their beds and went to open the door when they heard massive screams.

"What the fuck is with all the screaming did someone's period started -AAHH!" Sasha let out a scream to see the horrors of the camp.

The building where they would dine for breakfast, brunch, lunch, snack, dinner, and dessert was set on fire, two of the Flower Scouts were tied to the flag pole with their sashes tying them up to said pole and covering their eyes, another group was being chased by wolves but when it seemed like they made their escape they fell into a trap making them fall into a huge hole.

"What the hell is going on-AAHHH!" As the three stepped outside they fell into a trap that left them hanging upside down by their ankles.

The three were left dangling as they watched the chaos before them.

"What is like happening?" Erin asked in her valley girl accent."The bloods really starting to rush to my head now."

On cue a huge mud ball hit Tabii in the face.

"Ow, my eye ( soon there would be no 'i')" Tabii cried as it hit her good eye, but it was still working.

"Shut up, Tabii!" Sasha hissed as she grabbed the note and read it. "Dear Flower Scouts, you brought this on yourselves . Enjoy the rabid wolves, trapdoors, booby traps, the scent of burnt popcorn, and hanging upside down til someone finds you. Hate, The Wood Scouts. P.S. Enjoy drinking your own pee!"

"Gross!" Sasha and Erin shrieked at the last comment.

"I don't want to drink my own pee, I just want Neil to pee in me." Tabii admitted.

"Seriously Tabii, what the fuck?!" Sasha snapped.

Wood Scouts Camp

"Alright men the time is 9 pm, get some sleep. Tomorrow we'll brush up on our morse codes, tree climbing, obstacle course, and finding a new way to get Camp Campbell and its campers." Pikeman announced.

"Why do you want that camp so badly anyway, did you learn anything from when you won me in that bet?" Jermy asked raising his hand.

"I told you never to bring that up!" Pikeman shouted. "Now, off to bed, that's an order-Wait, what is that smell?"

"Sorry, I ate some beans today, and you know." Jermy admitted.

"Not you, you idiot!" Pikeman shouted. "It smells like flowers. Daises to be accurate."

*KABOOM*

The Wood Scouts ran outside to see the tires from their van and derbys stolen, their helicopter painted pink, flowers and glitter scattered everywhere. their tents torn down and ripped beyond repair, and worse boxes of their popcorn set ablazed.

"FIRE!" As Pikeman ran to the fire he noticed something attached to Jermy's face. "What is that on your face!"

"I don't know, it just got there." Jermy answered as Pikeman snatched the letter and read it.

"Dear Wood Scouts, you brought this on yourselves. Enjoy your wheelless vehicles, pink helicopter, flowers and glitter everywhere, and ruined tents with nowhere to sleep. Hate, the Flower Scouts P.S. You'll never see your valuable possessions again."

The scouts turned to see the fire to see Snakes bag of candy canes, Pikeman's photos of Gwen, and Petrol's book on how to talk burning in the flames.

"NO!" The boys screamed (minus Petrol).

"Wow, none of my stuff is on fire, than again my valuable possession is being friends with you guys." Jermy admitted.

"Shut up, Jermy!" Pikeman shouted.

* * *

Back at Camp Camp

Counselor's Cabin

Gwen stepped out of the counselor's bathroom (I know the cabin doesn't have a bathroom, so just pretend for this fic) with her hair down and wearing her white bathrobe over her pajamas as she noticed David was crafting at his table.

He had stencils, glitter, paint, and about a hundred or more flyers littered on his desk as he put on the finishing touches.

"What are you doing?" Gwen questioned her co-counselor.

"It's an event that I planned for next Friday." David answered with a grin.

"And what is this so called event." Gwen asked.

" **PARENTS DAY!** " David announced with excitement.

 **(OH BOY!)**

* * *

 **Songs**

At the end of each Camp Camp episode they usually do a rap that reflects the episode. But, I don't really listen to rap so here are some candy related songs to go with the chapter: Sugar Sugar by the Archies, The Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr (you know the Willy Wonka national anthem), and I want Candy by Bow Wow Wow (the Aaron Carter one is nice too).

* * *

Well that's it 'With or Without Nutz' is over with! I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I had fun writing it. Here's a little background info on why I made this story. After watching the episode Gwen Gets a Job ,Cookin Cookies, and Parents Day, one day an idea came to me; If the Flower Scouts sell cookies, the Wood Scouts sell popcorn, what does Camp Campbell sell? Then the answer hit me: CHOCOLATE! I remember when I was little how school fundraisers had the students sell chocolate and when I was a Girl Scout we sold cookies (one of many things I relate to with Nikki) and how it was hard sometimes to sell them. Going door to door, asking family members, and even buying said items yourself. So, I thought it would be interesting to out the Camp Camp characters in this situation.

 **References**

SpongeBob Squarepants: The title referenced from the episode 'Chocolate With or Without Nuts' only a s replaces the z and no chocolate in the title (Truthful, I almost forgot about the episode until an anon comment on the comment section said the title referenced SpongeBob and I had to look it up to make; and they were right). David and the old retirement lady yelling back and forth, the lady screaming 'CHOCOLATE!', and the same lady paying for the chocolate all the same episode.

Invader Zim: Just like Zim and Gir the Camp Camp crew have trouble selling their chocolate bars, then used their own strengths to sell bars.

Say Yes to the Dress (Series) and Four Wedding: In chap 2 there is a parody of both shows titled Say to the Four Bachelorette Parties.

Google: Chap 2 yoogle.

Cat videos: Chap 2.

Lay's chips: Chap 3 what the campers had for lunch.

Mc'Donald's, Dairy Queen, and Burger King: Mc' Princess Sliders chap 4.

HGTV: This chapter

Fairly Oddparents: this chapter

Sunset Blvd, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Birds, A Raisin in the Sun, Starlight Express, Sweeney Todd, and Whatever happened to Baby Jane: This chapter

Camp Camp: Refs from previous episodes.

* * *

I do have plans for other fanfics for Camp Camp, but I don't know which one to do first. If you read the info from the previous chapter:

1\. Will be a reverse Cult Camp episode, but instead of David vs Daniel it'll be Gwen vs Jen

2\. Muack pov story

3\. Will be the last day of Camp Camp

So you the readers get to decide which story will be next with the poll. It won't be up for a while since I have other stories to finish, but will be up !

P.S. I don't know if some of you know, but we can still save the net before next Monday's vote. There are many sites to sign petitions and write to congress the most popular one is . If we don't fight now we'll have to pay not to just write stories of , but for our jobs, education, and etc. So please tell your friends and family about this or we'll lose the internet!


End file.
